The Clockwork Locket || SIRIUS BLACK

The Beginning

Cassie awoke shivering in the dark.

She was cold, so very cold. As if someone had ripped out her core and replaced it with ice. Not even the blanket covering her body provided any warmth, nor did the hospital-issued pajamas she wore.

She barely remembered Sirius carrying her to the hospital wing. Ever since she collapsed in Dumbledore's office, her world had become hazy and warped, like she was trapped beneath the surface of an icy river, taking everything in through a layer of distortion. She thought Sirius had kissed her before leaving—or maybe she had dreamed it. Right then, she could not recall the feel of his lips even if she tried. She felt...nothing.

Will had been arrested. For murder. For murdering their—

She couldn't finish the thought, couldn't bear thinking that her mother and father—

She shut her eyes, struggling to breathe.

Her mother. So bright, so vivacious. Her blue eyes had always sparkled with a certain delight, a spark of mischief and wildness that years of pure-blood grooming could never dull. She had always protected Cassie, always loved her in the way her father never could. And now—

Breathe. Breathe.

The last words she'd said to her father pressed down on her like smoke, smothering her: "Hatred will not save you in the end. And when your darkest moment comes—and it will come—then think on that and wonder how you came to be such a loathsome bastard."

She'd meant it. Godric, she'd meant it. It was what she'd been thinking for years, but never had the courage to say. Not until then. She wondered if he remembered it as he met Death's embrace.

Breathe. Breathe.

She still couldn't—didn't want to—believe it. Lukas and Eleanor Alderfair...dead. And Will...

No. No. He wouldn't have killed them. He's good. My brother is still good. And he's gone...

But he wasn't, not anymore. Alastor Moody had taken him into custody because he had confessed. Will had confessed to murdering their parents.

Murder.

She couldn't hold it in any longer. A sob tore out of her throat, harsh and raw. Agony filled her lungs with fire, melting the ice at her core until she was choking on more smoke, and she couldn't breathe—

"Cassie, it's okay. I've got you, Princess, I've got you. I've got you, Cassie."

James curled up beside her in her cot, wearing the same hospital pajamas she was. Through blurry eyes, she saw his pale face and the pained wince he tried to hide as he settled himself down, but she couldn't speak. His arms wrapped around her, strong and comforting, and Cassie clung to him tightly. She knew she would shatter if she let go. Already she could feel the cracks in her heart, her soul. If she let go of him, she would break into a thousand pieces, and no one would be able to save her then.

"Don't let go," she begged. "Don't let go, James, please don't let go."

"I won't," he said fiercely. "I'm not going anywhere, Cassie, I swear."

Pain howled through every hollow place in her. Pain of what she had lost, pain of what she would continue to lose once she was out of her tiny cot, where nothing existed but her, James, and the pain. Her mother was lost. Will was lost. And any shred of innocence she may have once had—lost.

"I hated him," she found herself saying between heaving gasps of air. "I hated my father for who he was, for how he treated me. But I never wanted him—dead." She groaned. "And Mum..." She cried harder. "Why is this happening to me? Why..."