"Melanie darling.." they said. I already knew. I already knew what they wanted to say, tears started streaming down my face. "I am getting hospitalized aren't I?" "I am afraid so" said my father, with tears comming out. Wow, I had never seen him cry, he is a cold hearted person, he keeps everything to himself. Just like ne I suppose. I couldn't handle so much pain. I was sick, really sick. I found it hard to breathe, hard to wake up and go to school, hard to know I was that bad. There we were, riding to the hospital, which for my luck was pretty far. I couldn't help but crying. It all started with a fucking yogurt. I was at my lowest. 52 pounds huh? yeah, not enough for me, but pretty much more than enough for the rest. I was so scared about gaining weight, all I did back then was count calories and weighting myself like five times a day. It all started with a damn fucking yogurt. I already said this, but it would have saved me from being here. Or maybe not? I was honestly speechless. I was almost dying, I could feel it. My ears hurt, I was always cold, my lips were always chapped, hair falling, no energy AT ALL. Fuck that yogurt.
***
Halloween night. All my friends and I were dressed as minions, I had eaten a lot that day without a single care, because C'mon it was candy night. I did count the calories tho. I had eaten 650 calories which was way too much for me. My friends and I went trick or treating in a golf cart. All day long, we got so many candy! I did not know what I was going to do with it tho, since I hadn't had candy in a long time. When we got back home all my friends started eating their candy as we watched a scary movie. So I thought why not eating a 60 calorie ring pop? I went for it. But, so totally regreted it. I felt fat as never before. When all my friends where gone I weighted myself. I gained one pound, just in 24 hours. Tomorrow I would fast and that was my only thought. "Melanie!" My father said. "What now?" I was so scared he would ask me to eat something...and he did. "Please Melanie just this 80 calorie yogurt low fat, its all I'm asking for" No. Ana said I shouldn't. "Not now daddy I feel bloated I ate tons of candy" I lied. "Just this once for me please." He said. But I kept saying no and went to bed hungry.
Next morning my dad came up into my room and said "No more fasting young lady, from now on you are gonna eat whatever I tell you to and whenever I say so" OMFG. This wasn't real, I had been fasting since like May. No way. I started crying. He gave me three options. One egg with a wheat bread, ensure, or going to the hospital. You may think I went for the last one and that was the reason I got hospitalized. But no, I went for the first one. That was everything I ate that day, since my daddy had not been home. I felt so blouted and fat. I stared at myself and saw pure fatness. I cried all day, all night. This day would change my life forever, I would gain weight and be fat again. I honestly don't remember my highest weight but it was close to 80 pounds.
***
Few days later I went to see my Dr. He said I was dying, my heart beat was slow, and I had to be hospitalized right away. That's how it happened.
YOU ARE READING
Victim.
Humor*Trigger warning* This is the story of how anorexia took over my life. It all started with a damn yogurt. Well not at all, it all started with Ana. She told and keeps telling me what and what not to eat. To be honest I still don't know how this will...
