Wire Fence

Chapter 3 - Everything

Chapter 3 -

The next morning was uneventful. School was out for the month to celebrate the Leader's upcoming birthday. Dawai had set out to the Border early that morning, so I had no one to visit or talk to (no one that I actually wanted to contact, that is) until dawn the next day. Rowan was busy doing something with a couple of his friends -- although he was the Man of our family, he was still a child and refused to let the job take over his life -- and Pilot was being taken out by Mrs. Angelo, the Caretaker, along with the other families' children. Mother still refused to speak to me.

I found myself sitting in the same spot Rowan had been found the previous day, staring out the window at the few people passing by below. This was the window Dawai walked by each trip to the Border, even though it made his trip longer. It was the window he would wave up at each time, knowing I was watching for him and waiting to say my goodbye for the day or so that he was gone. It was the window from which I watched this morning as Dawai stopped and gave me a grin, before placing the tips of his fingers to his lips and then waving goodbye. It was in this very spot that my heart melted for the millionth time, and the same spot where I had a mental breakdown wondering what the other families were thinking if they had seen him. Nevertheless, today it was the spot that I wondered, for the umpteenth time, if I was in love with Dawai.

Before I had met Dawai (I was seven and he was fourteen when we met accidently), I didn't know what love was. Even today, it's a strange topic to me, and very difficult to grasp. Before meeting him, I only knew that the Leader paired a man and a woman together, gave them permission to marry, and that they had kids to carry on the man's name. I didn't know that this process had once been different, and created so that people could show their undying love towards one-another. I didn't know marriages were held and children were created as the ultimate sign of devotion. But then Dawai explained the concept of love to me at the best of his ability, and I instantly began thinking more and more about it. As I grew and learned more about the concept, I began to wonder if something like that could ever possibly happen to me. Could I be in love? Was this slight hint of emotion towards Dawai love? Was it an emotion I was able to feel? And if it was, was it love for his knowledge and his willingness to pass it on to me, or was it love for his whole being? That was what troubled me, and still troubled me to this day.

I sat with my back straight against the chair, tilting my head ever so slightly to see the street below. Outside our window was a thin river that curled through Alridy. Also outside our window was one of the main bridges -- a few planks of wood tied together with rope -- used by everyone heading out to work. One side of the river was for living and learning, and the other was for working. I watched a man dressed in mining gear stomp across the bridge, shaking it with each landing of his foot. I wanted to laugh and call out to him, "You're late! All your buddies already passed through here!", but I knew nothing could ever drive me to actually do such a thing. Not to mention, this man was definitely two years older than me, and not only had I promised Mother that I wouldn't speak to older men anymore (which was part lie, of course, since I could never cease communication with Dawai, but I would continue living out the promise of not talking to every other older man), but I would also be punished as soon as the man announced my interaction with him.

My thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind when a knock suddenly heard on the bedroom door, and I nearly jumped half a foot in the air when it happened. I raced to answer it, knocking over my chair in the process, but the door swung open before I could even answer it. It slammed closed just as quickly.

"Dawai?" I gasped, a sudden urge to embrace him coming over me. But I backed away instead, as I needed to control myself. Yet again I wondered about the concept of love. And yet again it was pushed to the back of my mind almost instantly.