It Must Be Tonight (Save Me Tonight) Wolfstar

I'll Fake All I Want To

I stand there, most likely with some stupid expression on my face, wondering how in the fucking bloody hell had I allowed myself to think that about someone. I can't have that kind of relationship, friends? That's fine, anything more and it would be too complicated, especially considering that he's my roommate! What the hell am I thinking, I need to shut up that side of my brain, thats final. I can't let anybody get that close. Period. James and Peter may think that they know everything about me after 2 years as friends, but I keep some things quite well hidden. But keeping stuff like...that hidden from a partner? Much too difficult for me, that can't happen.

Like he'd even fancy you, you idiot. How could that happen? You're alone, and you always will be.

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

I hate these shadows my mind, they can make my head pound without actually having a headache.. Why does it do this to me. It's like it's its own entity, completely separate from 'me'. Why can't I just have normal, non self destructive thoughts? Why do I have t-

Before I can continue my train of thought there is a sound that interrupts it.

"Hmm. Sorry. What was that?" I say looking back up at the beautiful -stop it- boy that has just said something to me.

"I was asking if you needed help getting anything up? I've already got all my things, so I thought I'd help with yours if you needed any," he says, still giving me a slightly confused look.

"Oh, no," I begin, "that's not necessary, all of my things should have already been brought up by the storage company this morning. This," I say swinging my duffle bag around me shoulder for him to get a clear view of, "is the only thing that I had left. It was what I took with me on my bike."

"Bike?" he asks.

"Ya, I got a motorbike so that I could go travel and clear my mind a bit before classes started again seeing as I wasn't aloud to stay here."

"Why didn't you just go back with your family?" he asks, again a bit perplexed.

Shit, I was hoping he wouldn't say anything. Think, quick.

"I- They were going on holiday to.. Florida! I really didn't feel like going, I'm not really a fan of the weather there and I'd just seen them anyways. Plus they said that it would be fine if I stayed," I say quickly, probably a bit too quickly. But if Remus noticed then he was good at hiding it.

"I see," he says, "I've never been. I have heard it's nice though."

"So people keep telling me, I don't know though, I don't really think you're missing out on anything. I much prefer here anyways. Much better scenery, nicer weather, clean water, beautiful forests, what's not to like?" I say trying to divert the topic a bit. I take to opportunity to finally set my bag down and move over to the small sofa.

"I wouldn't know," he says, "I just got here today and all I saw was the airport at Zurich, the train stations and the car up."

"Really! You've never been before?"

"Well, my parents never had much money for traveling and I was basically only able to go here with the scholarship that they gave me, so this is my first time really traveling," he tells me a bit shyly.

"Well then," I say getting up again, "we must rectify this. It's only noon now. How do you feel about going for a trip? I'll show you around some of my favourite places."

He lifts his eyes to meet mine again, "oh no, I couldn't ask you to do that."

"Don't be silly, it's nothing. I don't have anything else to do and neither do you since you said all your stuff is already up. We can make it worth while, on the way back we'll do the shopping, sound good?" I ask then remember to add, "oh and the trip is on me."