Satan (MB/Status)

101 Ways to Torture and Seduce Unstable Moose Men

I thought I'd give you a preview to advertise the book. Here goes:

¤

I, Ben Edlund, have scoured the ends of the world to bring to you this book of research, filled with my many findings.

Moose Men are a very rare and sought after species, either for seduction or for torture. Perhaps both. The unique cry of this very rare and exotic creature resembles sweet music to demonic ears.

Now, you are possibly tired of hearing an old man's ramblings. To you, young and eager reader, you must always cut to the chase. Your thirst for knowledge is the reason the world progresses like wildfire.

However, Moose Men are now endangered beings because of this neverending industrial revolution, as they mainly survive on salad and healthy, natural foods. This makes them unalike to their brotherly counterparts, Squirrel Men, who thrive on what is being produced in this day and age, which commonly includes pie and cheeseburgers.

The world needs somebody to save these Moose Men, to seduce them, to torture them.

Alas, to you do I bestow this incredible knowledge.

Use it wisely.

~B. Edlund, Professional Moosemanologist.