I'm Slowly Drowning {An Andy Biersack Love story}

I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

I woke up as the last one the next morning, and I would've slept longer it wasn't for Andy shaking me lightly. He looked worried for some reason, but I didn't get why.

"Morning" I mumbled and blinked a few times, confused about what was going on "what happened?"

"Max and Jamie found this on the floor next to your bunk when they woke up" Andy said and held up a razor, my razor.

"How did it end up there?" I asked, looking confused from the razor to Andy.

I hadn't even touched it for over a week, but clearly Andy was worried that I'd hurt myself last night. I buried my head in my hands and let out a sigh, this didn't make any sense.

Andy crawled into the bunk next to me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead but without saying anything.

"I really don't know how it ended there" I mumbled and lifted my head to look at Andy "I haven't touched it in more than a week" I sured him.

"I believe you but... I'm just so worried about you" he mumbled with a sigh and smiled at me

"I'm sorry" I mumbled, something was wrong, someone was trying to ruin me, first sharing Andy's and mine relationship online and now telling people about my self harm, but who and why? I didn't get it at all.

"Don't be" he said and smiled again, I really didn't get why he'd waste his time on a wreck like me, and how he kept on dealing with my shit and breakdowns.

"I promise Andy, I haven't touched it for over a week, I'd even buried it in the bottom of my suitcase so I wouldn't be able to get it easily if I felt bad, I don't know how it ended up here. I-I don't g-get it, it doesn't make any sense..." I said slightly desperate, I didn't want Andy to reach the point where my shit became too much for him, I didn't want him to leave me yet.

"Sshhh, babe, I trust you, I'm just confused, how did anyone find it if you buried it in the bottom of your suitcase?"

"I don't know..." I trailed off and stared into space, trying to figure it out, I knew that Jamie didn't like me, but I wouldn't accuse her for doing anything.

"Maybe one of the guys have seen something?" Andy said after a while.

"Maybe" I responded and rested my head on his shoulder, letting out a sigh "all of this is such a mess" I'm a mess I mumbled, not saying the last part out loud, knowing that if I did, Andy would tell me wrong and tell me how much I was worth, and as always, I'd want to believe him but not be able to do so.

"It'll be alright" Andy said smiling and kissed my cheek, "c'mon princess, let’s get up, we're flying in five hours" he laughed, changing the subject on purpose, most likely to make my thoughts change direction since he usually knew when I was thinking bad stuff, it worked.

"Shit, I have to pack and I need a shower before" I mumbled and pecked Andy's lips quickly before I jumped out of my bunk and searched through my suitcase to get some clothes, ending up with a A7x t-shirt and some black shorts with fishnet-tights under.

Andy laughed as he got out of my bunk too and kissed my cheek lightly before he left the van, he had to pack also.

I walked into the little living room of the Fan-Van to instantly be attacked by a really worried Max.

I quickly explained what happened and Max and I cried together over my problem, it took over an hour before he let me go so I could take a shower and get changed.

As always After I had my shower, I changed into the clothes I'd found earlier, my fishnet-tights, my shorts and my A7x T-shirt, I then brushed my hair and pulled it up in a messy bun to the right and lastly I put on a thick layer of eyeliner as usual, put on the pineapple-necklace Max gave me and the Disney-earrings Andy gave me.