I'm Slowly Drowning {An Andy Biersack Love story}

I'm Broken, The Wretched And Divine

Not gonna say much, cause it'll probably annoy you if I don't let you read on, but even though this story isn't that pobular, and I know it've sounded a bit like I was bitching over it, I didn't mean it thatway, I'm truly grateful to those who even wan't to read my terribly stories, and the nearly 200 reads I've already gotten is more than I dreamed about!

I just wanted to thanks my readers cause they help me satying strong, make me feel loved :) Thank you all for that and if you're feeling down yourself then remember, I'll always be here to help! And just; Never Give In <3

... Gonna let you read now x)

 (warning; this chapter contains Self Harm)

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You should think that I'd have an amazing sleep after what happened between me and Andy, but I didn't. I wasn't able to fall asleep, and the happy thoughts turned into more depressing and destroying thought. What if he'd just played with me? I mean, not that I think Andy would do it, but he'd been in relationships before, like Scout, he even wrote a song for her, why would he waste time on me? I wasn't worthy his love or admiration anyways; I was ugly both on the inside and the outside and I was a total mess, broken and depressed. My head hurt and my thoughts became even messier, it hurt so much. After that, the numb yet painful feeling set in and this was around the point where I ended up harming myself because of the numb feeling and the fact that I deserved pain. I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom where I managed to find one of my blades in the side pocket of my toilet bag. I wanted to cry, but crying was a hard thing for me and I did it rarely (yet I'd cried of happiness the evening after Black Veil Bride's concert). Sitting down next to the shower, I slowly slit the blade over the skin on my tight three times, waiting a bit for the blood to appear. I got up and smiled weirdly at the blood now running down my leg while I grabbed some tissues and held them over the cuts, waiting a bit for it to stop. After about fifteen minutes it finally stopped more or less and I crawled back to bed again, able to fall asleep with the rush I'd gotten from the self-harm. I knew I'd hate myself for it when I woke up, and it would give me a really bad day, but I couldn't help it.

God my tight sting when I woke up, I instantly felt bad about what I'd done in the middle of the night but I couldn't stay in bed and feel bad for myself, hate myself. My head hurt, so after rolling out of bed, I took two painkillers and a warm shower, jumping into the first set if clothes I could find; black skinny jeans and a MCR t-shirt, I tied my hair up in a ponytail and started packing my things.

"Oh, look who finally woke up" Jamie mumbled as she walked into our room and grabbed her already packed suitcases and bags. She's known me for fucking two days and she already acted like some bitchy goddess! I ignored her and grabbed my stuff as well, making my way past her and into the nearest elevator. I really didn't want to face the boys at the moment, I felt like shit and I hated myself, like predicted. My tight hurt as well, could my life get lovelier?

Andy's POV

She was so beautiful, I couldn't believe that I'd actually done it, I'd actually confessed how I felt about her, both towards myself and to her. She'd been on my mind all night and morning, I couldn't wait to see her.

Jamie and Max emerged in our bus when we were ready to drive, but Lex wasn't with them, my mood went a bit down at that, didn't she want to see me? Maybe I'd done something wrong?

"Now we only need Alex and we're ready to take off" Jon said as he walked into the 'living room' in the bus, greeting Max and Jamie with a good morning.