Sigh, Alaska: a short story novel

Lacy Jones

Lacy Jones had a boy problem. Or rather, she had a problem with boys. She knew if she spent any real time analyzing her issues, it would probably come back to an inattentive father and her high school choir director that kept insisting she wasn't good enough to solo, even as he emptied himself into her in the backroom of the school auditorium minutes before show time. But she didn't want to think about that.

Nearly three months passed after Pete went home to Hawaii- rather than build a relationship with her- and she still couldn't seem to let go of him. She knew intellectually they really hadn't been together that long, and hostels seemed to be a breeding ground for unstable people- hello, Howard and Daphne- so their relationship, however brief, wasn't mean to survive longer than it had.

But Lacy had let herself dream. She couldn't think of a more perfect world than when her lover declared his undying devotion to her, and she fell into his arms. Everything Lacy had learned about romance came from the movies. She wanted the grand gesture after pushing her love away, and she would know it was "the real deal" when he didn't run screaming in the opposite direction.

It was the middle of January and she managed to keep her job at Gottchalks through the holiday season and even earned a promotion to Lead Cashier. Honestly, she did her best to not think about Pete, but it was hard when every beanie-covered head looked just a little like his; and they were everywhere. It was still the middle of winter in Alaska. Standing behind the checkout counter, she watched as one walked by, shuffling his feet, and trying desperately to exit the store as quickly as possible. Across from her was a bank of mirrors with racks of clothes in front of them. As she often did, she caught her own reflection as her eyes wandered passed, which startled her. How often had her own face scared her?

It's a wonder anyone would want me, she thought, lifting her chin and studying the different angles of her face in the far away mirror. Her big blue eyes stared back through thick black vanity glasses that sat low on her cheekbones. Lacy's lips were full and her dark blush lipstick had worn away with the workday. Her long wavy brown hair was pulled up on the sides and her bangs had been braided to the side because she didn't have time to wash and dry her hair that morning. Her oversized grey knitted sweater opened in the front to reveal a rhinestone encrusted tee-shirt. Lacy knew there was some beauty there, mostly when she was wearing a lot of makeup. Today though, she couldn't see it. She could only see that Pete had left her behind, like all the other men in her life.

"Okay. Not the time to get maudlin. Get it together, Lacy." She pepped talked to herself. This day could not be over soon enough. She looked at the clock on her register and realized her shift was over in just a few minutes. Surprised the day had gone by so quickly, her attitude quickly changed and she smiled as she lifted her head to the customer who walked up to her station. He was wearing a beanie and that was enough to remind her shattered heart of the one who left her. "Will this be all?" She asked him.

His face was elongated, with big brown eyes that crinkled on the edges. His nose was low and thin, and his top lip was thinner than his bottom lip. Lacy pictured herself sucking that bottom lip in between her teeth, and almost moaned. He wasn't beautiful, she thought, but he looked kind. He looked like he wouldn't break a girls heart after she gave it to him.

"I believe so. I can't believe how cold it is here. I didn't pack nearly the right clothes." He replied. Lacy smiled at him attentively while ringing him up. "I mean, I knew coming to Alaska would mean colder weather, but I didn't realize I'd need gloves under my gloves!" he continued.

"Yeah, we've been having a bit of a cold snap. It'll probably warm up to just below freezing in a few days. Much better than this colder than hell- oops!" she stopped herself, eyes going big, hand flying to cover her mouth. "It's just been really cold the last few days."

"I just got in this morning, and dropped my things off before coming here. It was my first stop. I didn't even know where I was going."

"Are you staying long then?" She continued to let him know what his total purchase was.

"Oh, about a month."

"I don't see your girlfriend, is she back at the hotel?"

He shot her a quick grin. "No, there's no girlfriend here, or back home. I'm just a single dude traveling on his own, trying to find himself in the last frontier." He said, shrugging his shoulders as he pulled out his wallet.

Lacy glanced down at the card and read his name was Seth Hawkins. She thought she could grow to like the name Lacy Hawkins. It sounded very upper-middle class to her. "Well, I'm glad you stopped by. I hope your clothes keep you warm for the length of your stay." She handed him his purchases, card and receipt. Their hands touched and Lacy could swear the tingle went straight to her heart before taking the freeway to her groin. She added, "And I hope that you find whatever it is you're looking for."

He beamed a smile at her, and she felt the ice melting away from the shattered pieces of her heart. "Thanks." He grabbed his bag and started to walk away.

Biting her lip, she debated as he walked toward the exit, before calling out to him.

At the sound of his name, Seth turned around and looked at her. She left her counter, despite the waiting customer and smiled at him quickly. "I don't usually do this, but I get off work in a few minutes and I wondered if you'd like to grab a cup of coffee before you head back to... wherever you're going."

His pleasantly polite smile spread into a full grin, which tapered down on the sides a little indulgently. "That's very nice of you to offer, but I have to catch this bus, or I'll be late for my check in at the hostel. All my things are unattended and it kind of freaks me out."

She heard an impatient sigh behind her, and didn't look back at the customer in line who had made it. The rejection felt like acid rain and she swallowed it down. Using the rest of her bravery, she grabbed his hand and wrote her number on his hand. "If you're around this weekend and want to grab some coffee then, give me a call. My name is Lacy. I gotta go." She shot him her patented wicked grin that had gotten her so much attention in the past and went back to register. She didn't check to see if he was still there until the next customer had gone. When she finally did, she sighed a little bit of disappointment. At least the day is over.