I n d o м ι т a в l e

(4)

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"It is 'where we are' that should make all the difference, whether we believe we belong there or not."

— Chang-rae Lee

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{Chapter: 4}

Unedited  ✖

{ A S P E N M O N T G O M E R Y }

I stare out at the clouds forming above the tall tree's, creating a wall between heaven and earth as rain continues to pour down from the sky in thick, heavy droplets.

I've been in the same position ever since I woke up this morning; perched on my window seat, blanket draped over my shoulders and clutching my cup of coffee with both hands while staring out at the deep forest I was lost in only two nights ago. The secrets that lay deeply buried within the earthy forestry continues to haunt me, that night still playing freshly through my mind.

It's well around two o'clock in the afternoon now and Edith and I have only spoken once, when I went to the kitchen to get something to eat and drink for breakfast. Our conversation was short and clipped, the both of us still tense from yesterdays conversation. I can tell she's eager to confront me more on what happened in the forest but has held back. I'm surprised she hasn't strapped me down and drilled into me, forcing me to confess. Edith has always hated being lied to. But I'm glad nevertheless, less questions less lies..

I would have told her to forget it had she asked and that would have only irritated her further. I can't tell her what I saw. I'm not scared...I'm just unsure of whether or not she'd actually believe me. And if she didn't, she might snap and send me back to dad, to the place where our family finally collapsed for good.

It's a risk not worth taking.

I can imagine the infuriated and disappointed look my father would have on his face at the news. Frankly, I could care less about his opinion anymore. It didn't used to be that way, but I'm no longer in need of his good views on me or my life. But going back to where my life, where everything good ever was and ever would be, was buried--I'm not willing to take that chance. Even if that means compromising with my sickingly impeccable father.

I flinch when a black something takes of from a tree, relaxing again when I realize it was only a bird. It fly's off over the trees while squawking to it's friends who soon join him in a small group. Inwardly smacking myself for being so jumpy, I inconspicuously continue observing the forest below, taking frequent sips of my coffee to help calm my nerves.

The blur that swiftly ran through the forest only a couple days ago still lingers in the back of my mind and I'm starting to think that beast might have been the creature I was chased after in the forest. It's bigness makes me even more sure that it's a high possibility.

I've been on edge ever since the accident. My hand is healing, the cuts not nearly as bad as Edith had suspected. I kept it wrapped just in case I were to accidently get dirt in it and risk getting it infected, the white gauze standing out against my slightly tanned skin.

I catch my reflection in the window and cringe at my ghost-like appearance. Dark circles beneath my eyes give away my lack of sleep, my night plagued with nightmares which to my annoyance I still can't remember, only waking up with a shudder of fear crawling down my spine.

I blow out a breath of air which causes the window to fog up in one small area. I use my pinky to draw a small smiley face, but frown right after. I stare at the small sign for a moment, assessing the simple sign of happiness. I sigh. The small smiley seems so happy--too happy; but after all, that is the purpose of it. It is called a smiley face for a reason. But it only makes me want to pound my fist against the glass until it shatters.