human again / hp.

Chapter 94

I woke up to a tapping.

Not loud. Not urgent. Just this soft, rhythmic tick against my windowpane, like the world was politely asking for my attention.

For a second, I wasn't sure where I was. My canopy bed was draped in silver-threaded curtains instead of Gryffindor reds, and everything smelled like lavender polish and old magic. Right—Malfoy Manor. The ball was tonight.

I groaned and rolled over, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders. It was still early. I could tell from the coldness of the light and the fact that none of the elves had knocked yet. Probably only just past dawn. But the tapping didn't stop. I finally sat up and pushed the curtains aside, squinting through the frosted window.

A white shape fluttered in the snowy light outside, her wings tucked tightly against her feathers as she waited.

Hedwig.

My heart jumped a little as I slid out of bed, bare feet brushing the cold wooden floor. I unlatched the window, and the snowy owl swept in with a flurry of snowflakes, shaking her feathers indignantly. Her amber eyes locked on mine before she stretched out one leg.

"Hi," I whispered, brushing my fingers gently down her back before untying the envelope. "Thanks for coming."

She gave a soft hoot and hopped onto the edge of my desk while I curled back onto the bed, legs tucked under me, the letter already unfolded in my hands.

His handwriting was familiar now—strong, a little messy, like he was always rushing to get the words out before they slipped away. There were a few smudges of ink on the corners, and the parchment had been folded and refolded like he'd read it again and again.

Celeste,

Thanks for writing. Really. It... kind of threw me off, in a good way. I wasn't expecting to hear from you, especially after everything that happened before the break.

I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner. Everything's been mad. What I told McGonagall—what I saw. It was real. Arthur was attacked. By a snake. Voldemort's snake, I think. He was guarding something, and I was somehow seeing through the snake's eyes. It was horrible. I woke up covered in sweat and sick. But what's worse is that it was real. Arthur was really hurt. We almost lost him.

He's okay now, though. In St. Mungo's. He's healing, and the Healers say he'll be alright. The whole Weasley family's been a wreck. But Molly's strong. She's holding it together for everyone else. Hermione's been brilliant, of course. I don't know what I'd do without her.

As for me... I'm trying not to let it get to me, but honestly? I feel like I'm falling apart a little. Seeing that happen. Knowing I could do it again at any time, and not being able to stop it—it's terrifying. And no one will talk to me straight about what's happening. They just keep saying I need to stay safe. I hate that. I don't want to be safe. I want to help.

I hope the ball isn't too awful. I can imagine the kind of people your parents invited—no offense. If I had to go with Nott...

Let me know how it goes, and maybe, if it's not too risky... write again? I'd like that.

Be careful, Celeste. I mean it.

-Harry

I read it again. And again. Until the letters blurred a little, and I had to blink hard to refocus.