Trying to dance through the rain

Chapter 6

When I awoke the tubes were gone, but the tube inserts were still in place.

The day started off fairly normal, rehabilitation and me eating none of my meals with Dr Emily trying to coax me to eat a bit more.

Then as afternoon came a woman entered my room, she had wavy sandy blonde coloured hair that was neatly plaited to the side, kind blue smiling eyes and a lilac folder in her perfectly manicured hands.

"Hi Emma. I'm Dr Roberts, you can call me Amelia though if you like. I'm your counsellor."

I immediately decided I liked Amelia as she didn't seem to talk down to you or up at you, she was kinda just on the same level.

"Hi." I responded not sure what to say.

"How are you feeling today?"

She asked gently obviously trying to see which approach to take.

"I'm okay I guess" I paused

"I don't know, it's just - hard."

"I know it must be hard with everything that's taken place."

"You know about everything?" I enquired.

"Of course. I've read some of your teachers notes and your hospital notes. It all helps me to be able to help you." Amelia explained.

"Oh" I said, feeling kinda stupid.

"Today is just an introduction sort of thing but before I go I would like it if you could answer the questions in these papers."

I was handed two lots of stapled paper each contained about 4 pieces of double sided paper, which had at least five questions on a side.

One set of questions contained things like 'how often do you feel depressed?' With optional answers like 'not often, sometimes,often, most of the time', the other contained questions about food and eating habits.

It didn't take very long for me to answer them all though.

Although for some questions I wasn't exactly truthful.

As soon as I was done Amelia gathered the question papers up and put them in her folder.

"Bye Emma. I will hopefully come again tomorrow." She said.

"Ok, bye" I replied, left to wonder how bad my answers on the questions looked, probably pretty bad, even with my lies.

As even though I hated the thought of someone knowing all my nightmares, feelings and thoughts, I had answered all the questions.

Soon Dr Emily came in to reattach the tubes into the inserts in my back.

When she was done I asked her for some paper and a pen because I wanted to write to try and take my mind off everything; to clear my head.

Writing was my way of trying to deal with the pain but the things I wrote were never the usual happily ever after rubbish though.

They were dark, deep, powerful and contained parts of me in it. I sat there writing until I fell asleep - the pen still in my hand.