Trying to dance through the rain

Chapter 11

"She will make it, won't she Adam?"

I just needed some kind of reassurance.

"Think about it Lace," he entwined his fingers with mine

"the best people are on the job. Amelia is considered as an amazing counsellor and a highly regarded psychologist as well as her being next in line for the head of psychology. Avery is head of paediatrics and general surgery, and is like a brother to you, so you know exactly what he will do to be able to help Emma. And Emily is your best friend as well as her being your boss, deputy CEO of the hospital and being head of neurology and orthopaedics... Most importantly you trust all these people Lace, you consider them as your second family, they would do anything for you, just as you would, and have for them."

"Adam?" I asked.

"Yeah" he responded.

"I love you"

I pecked his cheek, our hands still entwined.

"I know baby. Now, how about I go get us some food?"

It was more of a statement than a question.

"I'm not hungry." I stated, still staring at Emma's room.

"You know that you not eating doesn't help Emma in anyway right?" I nodded, admitting defeat.

"I'm gonna go get us some food, ok?"

"Um, yeah" I replied.

He walked away, squeezing my hand before he let go of it completely.

I couldn't help it.

I made my way towards the door that lead to Emma's isolation.

I stopped before forcing my hands to touch the cool metal handle.

I inhaled sharply.

I knew what I was doing was technically forbidden but I couldn't help myself.

Turning the handle I pushed the door open and was careful to shut it gently behind me, before I ventured towards the bed.

I stood staring at all the different monitors keeping track of her pulse, heart rate and other various things.

Then the machinery controlling her breathing, bloods and food intake, before I moved on to the sheer amount of tubing and wiring that was coming in and out of her fragile body.

It was almost like if you touched her she would shatter like a delicate, fragile porcelain doll.

I sat beside her on the bed, tucking stray wisps of hair behind her ear before tenderly kissing her forehead.

Grasping her ice cold hands I examined the neatly dressed cuts up her arms while I massaged heat into her hands.

A song made its way into my head.

Give me a lifetime by anthem lights, it was one of her favourite songs and oddly fitting for what I was feeling.

I started to hum the tune before I started to sing the chorus to her softly.

'Give me a lifetime

That's all that I'm asking for

Give me a lifetime
Not a second less, not a moment more'

Tears started etching down my cheeks again but I continued to sing to her till I finished.

"I always thought you were kidding when you said if you weren't a doctor you would be a singer."

A male voice came from behind me.

"But I can totally see why you're not a teacher because of your blatant disregard for the rules."

I'd know those jokey comments and that voice anywhere.

It was Avery.

"Sorry, I just... I had to..."

I couldn't even get out a sentence without choking up.

"I get it plus I know you too well to know that you wouldn't try to sneak in here. Come on Lacey, let's go, Emily and Adam will kill us if they find out you were in here."

I hated when Avery was right, in a way we were like brother and sister.

"Ok" I agreed.

Emily would totally obliterate me if she knew I had defied her.

I followed Avery out of the room only to break down again.

Avery pulled me into a massive hug.

"You know that Emma wouldn't want you to mope around being upset about her,right? She'd want you out there in the open, doing what you do best. She'd want you to be saving lives."

As much as it pained me to admit it, Avery was right that was exactly what Emma would want me to be doing.

So I vowed that I would do just that until I could at least see her.