Anarchy's Daughter

Chapter Nine

CHAPTER 9

I looked in the mirror as I finished putting on my black beanie. I was officially done getting ready for my first day of school..or so I hoped. After finishing the last touch up I wanted to see if I was looking okay or if I needed to change or quickly redo my make-up and hair.

I turned my face and my body a little bit as I looked in the mirror to see myself from more angles. I mean, I think I look okay, but what if I don't? What if what I think looks nice is a radically different concept than what the people around here think is nice? Or what if I think I look good and I actually just look bad?

After looking through my closet and choosing six tops before narrowing down to one, I still didn't know if I looked nice. True that I already made an appearance at this school, but this time I would see more students and have actual interactions with them...hopefully. And teachers would see me for the first time and they would immediately judge me based on how I looked coming into their classroom until they got to know me better at how I was in class. Unless the principal already told them about my grades, then I could walk in there looking horrible or gothic and they still wouldn't really judge me. They would think that I was a student in their class who would do well, probably listen to them, respect the class, and would bring up the grade point average of the school in general. It might even make the teacher look good.

The problem was that other students might dislike me because they would be jealous that I was so smart.

And no, I'm not conceded when I say they are jealous. Whenever people would call me a teachers pet or tried to make fun of me because I was a nerd or was really smart, I knew they did it because they were jealous. I was smart and they weren't. I brought home the good grades just by doing my work and without sucking up to the teacher and they couldn't. Simple as that. Poor me, I'm going to a high education and you aren't. How terrible.

After being bullied in school about how smart I was, I came to realize that it was usually by the people who were the lowest in the class. And things start adding up and you catch on pretty fast.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Did I look normal? I decided not to do a dress, that it might make the wrong impression that I try to hard. And I wanted nothing to abormal or fancy for shirts too. I wanted to fit in, that I wasn't anything special nor was I trying to be because in the end I wasn't special at all. And on special days where I felt fun did I really dress like it, but mostly my attire was oversized sweaters with scarves, jeans sometimes ripped and sometimes not, and tank tops. And I had a few dresses lying around that I wore when I was in the mood.

I decided on getting another person's opinion.

I got out of my room and walked into the kitchen. I heard the radio in the kitchen and the television in the living room so I knew that everyone was up. Tara was already in her work clothes and was feeding Thomas. I guessed that Abel had already finished his breakfast from the children's bowl in the sink and he was now watching cartoons. I saw Jax on the phone, his back to me and I tuned out his conversation for now.

As I walked into the kitchen, Tara looked up at me and I gave her a weird smile before asking her, "does this look okay?"

She looked at my black beanie to my side-braided hair that I did in a way so that my hearing aids would be hidden before looking at my face where I had one some foundation and a smokey eye look and light pink lipstick. She then went down to the loose black tanktop that I had on that showcased a scull made of stars before going down to my light blue skinny jeans.

She looked up at my face and I told her, "I'm wearing my black converse with them."

"I think you look great." Tara told me with a smile.