Used And Abused

Phone call

That one phone call was from my neighbor to the police. Apparently my mom drank herself to death. She was found dead at approximately 12:30 pm by my neighbor Walter. When I got home I saw there was crime scene tape everywhere. My first thought was that my mother and brother got into a fight and one was dead. I wasn't completely wrong. I went to walk in to see what happened but Walter stopped me saying : "Ronni! I was trying to get ahold of you all day, please don't go in there." I haven't spoken in almost a year and I decided now wouldn't be the time I started to again. As I was thinking to myself how maybe this would start a new beginning, a better one, my brother walked up to me and grabbed my ass.
His name his George. He is 19 and way too comfortable with MY body. He's been sexually abusing me since I was 10. I tried cutting to feel something other than his hands on me but that pissed him off so he started beating me. At first he didn't care if it was noticeable or not. Then mother got a phone call from the school and she found out about everything herself. She told my school I was playing lacrosse with my friends and got hurt. They even believed he too! When I got home that day she beat me for "making the school call her" I didn't say a word though, and because of this I got glass in my back from the bottle she threw at me. She had a talk with my brother that day and they agreed to make it less noticeable. Whenever I had cuts on me that weren't from them I would get beat. So I stopped cutting. I decided if I were to die it'd be in one shot not slowly on my bathroom floor. That's what I was going home to do that night. Kill myself.
Before I knew what was going on Water had me in his car and he was telling me how I was going to the police station. I gave him a puzzled look and he explained : "I'm sorry I have to do this, I'm sure they'll let you live with your brother..." My heart dropped at that "... But I have to take you to the police because they might also put you in a foster home. I'm so sorry about your mom, darling." He continued talking but I toned him out. I couldn't imagine living with George. If I was sent to him I'd kill myself, but the thought of a foster home gave me a glimmer of hope. I was unable to tell if I would be able to tell anyone about my dad. I wasn't even sure he still knew about me. All in all I would be away from my abusive family so it would be okay. At least, that's what I was hoping for...