Short Stories

(Toxic)

I'm not crazy. Am i? The voices in my head hadn't spoken a word to me in a while, yet I still felt there grasp over my body causing my questionable acts. It was hard to tell people I was fine or I was happy, but I had to or to many questions would be raised not to mention the pity. I didn't want any of that. All I wanted was to run away from here, run away with her, Jiselle. The one shred of light, beauty, love in the sad life I lived. I always felt out of place but in her presence I felt like I belonged. There was never judgement in her eyes when she spoke to me.
My name is Michael and I always heard voices in my head from ever since I could remember. Some days it was stronger than others. About a year ago I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a long term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion and behaviour, leading to faulty perception and inappropriate actions and feelings. At least that's what my doctor /therapist says. Maggie, she was the one person who listened to me, but that was her job, she was my therapist and my doctor. I didn't like sharing my thoughts and how I felt but I was comfortable around her so I did, most of the time.
I was the perfect disaster some would say, a schizo with an abusive mother, no father and a drug problem. Maybe I am, that didn't bother me. Each night when my mom went on one of her episodes I heard how much of a disaster I was with every single beating and how I was the reason that my dad left. Some might think my delusions was the least of my problems maybe not. No one truly knew my pain.
Since my last few incidents in school my therapist put me on this special kind of meds. It silenced the voices, made me nausea and caused headaches, it changed me. The meds helped my delusions but it had side effects. I hated the fact that this drug made me something I wasn't. Last Thursday the school bully decided I didn't have enough problems on my hands so he decided to give me a hard time. My delusions helped fan the flames of my anger and I threw the jacka** across the cafeteria and I may have broken his arm. Its still a blurr I didn't know I did all those things while I blacked out. The week before I had a very heated argument, you would think with another person but the arguement involved one person, me. I argued with myself in the male washroom causing the other students to be afraid to go in. Recently I missed four of my classes and the teacher went looking for me and found me passed out drunk in the school's library. That was the last straw, that's when Maggie put me on the meds.
After two weeks on the pills I flushed it down the toilet. I couldn't take it anymore. I had too. I stopped the meds but the voices and delusions didn't returned. Jiselle was all I could think about. The one person I look forward to seeing. She was Mrs. Wright's daughter, she was also the class aid. Jiselle was a beautiful, tall, red head. She was much older than me but I loved her. I was 17 at the time, I think she was 24, but I still loved her. I had a feeling she felt the same way to. She would help me with my work after school and this meant a lot to me.
Three days past since I've stop taking the pills and I felt fine. I managed to conceal this from Maggie. I haven't seen my mother in two days but this didn't bother me. Today was the day. I finally built up enough confidence, I was going to profess my love to Jiselle and ask her to run away with me. I waited until after school when Jiselle would tutor me. I prepared everything I even bought her roses.
"Hi there Michael, ready for today's lesson,"
She looked prettier than ever here is my chance.
"Jiselle I have to tell you something,"
"Jiselle I love you with all my being,"
At first she chuckled thinking it was a joke but as I continued she realized how serious I was.
"I'll be 18 soon so we could run away together then later be married,"
"Michael that can't happen i-"
She was cut short when Mrs. Wright stormed into the room demanding to know what was going on. At the time I was pressed up against Jiselle. Her soft skin in my reach, her beautiful gaze was fixed on me. I told her of my plan and asked for her blessing.
"You sick, delusional boy my daughter is a grown woman your a kid,"she squelled.
"Why would she run away with you she is engaged to a grown man who could take care of her,"she laughed
The room began to spin, her laughter grew deeper in pitch. My surroundings was now blurry and I had a piercing headache. Then I knew, the voices had returned.
"Kill her, kill the laughing pig, kill her now,"the voice echoed in my head.
I felt like a backseat driver within my own body. I was no longer in control I uncovered a pocket knife from my back pocket. Mrs. Wright was not aware of this nor was Jiselle who was pressed in a corner. She continued to mocked me.
"Good now kill her, silence her for good,"the voice echoed
I jabbed my knife into her abdomen. Her warm blood now dripped down my arm. Jiselle screamed and ran towards me but I pushed her away. She fell and hit her head.
"You toxic ,evil twisted boy,"Mrs. Wright bellowed.
I was not in control at all. The blade was twisted then removed. I heard a crackle then gurgling of blood which escaped her mouth and wound. She fell to the ground with a thud. A laugh that was not my own escaped my lips. Then it went silent. No voices.
Jiselle crawled to her mother and was consumed with grief and shock, she cried uncontrollably. Knowing what I had done I stared at Jiselle tears forming in my eyes
"I'm Sorry,"I said with remorse laced in my words. I had control of my body and I have hurt the one person I loved.
I ran, I left the school .I ran, leaving everything behind.

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THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SO PLEASE IGNORE ANY ERRORS.......PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT....SHOW
SOME LOVE