Save Me

Chapter Five

Amber's POV

Finally Jason walked out the door, I was compelled to run out the door with him. He's the only one who has cared about me in a long time. My mom is too obsessed with coke and rum to care and my dad died when I was six from a heroin overdose. I'm alone almost 24/7. I just stayed there sunken into the couch. I decided I needed to get some fresh air. I stepped out into the cold air. The moon was as full as I have ever seen it. The wind was nipping at my collarbone but I didn't care. Just thinking about him makes me feel warm inside. But then I realized the unfortunate truth, once he saw the real me, he wouldn't want me. He would think I'm too sad and too stressed. He would leave me for a more beautiful and confident person. The tears started streaming down my face, this is the 9th night in a row. This time, I was breaking. I felt a tense pit in my stomach, I am rotting from the inside out. I started sobbing uncontrollably. The pain is too much to bear. I'm UGLY. I'm a WHORE. I'm a EMO. Ew YOU CUT YOURSELF. All the voices in my head were screaming as loud as they ever had. The moon was mocking me. They just grew louder and louder. HE DOESNT LOVE YOU, HE JUST WANTS SEX. HE WANTS TO RAPE YOU, JUST LIKE BILLY DID IN THE  EIGHTH GRADE. YOU LET HIM YOU SLUT. YOU DESERVE TO DIE, CUT CUT CUT CUT. I screamed out in agony. I just wanted it to stop, and it would never stop. As long as I'm alive, it will never stop. This has to end.......