Jetpack Blues

~Present~

I take a deep breath trying to settle the anger that has built up in me. In a split second decision I yank open my blinds and pull open my window. Standing there in the rain is Abel dirty blond hair darkened from the rain coming down outside blue eyes looking up at me. His face a mix of emotions. I could just barely see him from the light coming from my room. I open the screen that separates the glass from the outside and lean against my window frame.

"Abel you need to leave right now." I say trying to keep my face neutral. "This is not going to end well if you don't."

"I don't care you can do whatever you want but I'm not leaving because you deserve an apology." He says his voice breaking a bit as if he's about to cry.

"I do not want an apology it is to late for apologies." I say my voice raising out of anger.

"Please Riley I am so sorry I'm sorry I'm a fucking idiot I'm a moron I'm the biggest piece of shit that has ever lived for what I've done to you. I was selfish and you didn't deserve anything I put you through I was just angry and hurt and scared and I am sorry." He's crying now I can hear it in his voice. I've only ever seen him cry once before.

Something in me snaps my eyes start watering and before I could stop them the tears fall. "Your sorry? You were angry? YOU WERE HURT!? Fuck you Abel fuck you no I do not want your fucking apology. After everything I did for you no fuck you! How could you do this to me!"

"I don't know I don't know please I am so sorry I'm sorry I did what I did I'm sorry I left you with no answers I'm sorry I put you through hell ok. Please don't say that I'm not hurt I am hurt I'm hurt because I hurt you I hurt the best thing in my life you were the best thing that has ever come into my life. You did more for me than anyone ever would and I threw it all away because I'm a fucking idiot."

In that moment I walked away from my window and towards two big bags sitting at the end of my room. Without thinking I dropped to the floor and ripped open one of the bags containing everything Abel had left behind everything that he had given me and everything I had that reminded me of him. They have been sitting there sense the night Abel ended things I haven't opened them until now. I searched through the bag and pulled out a small blue box. I opened the lid and in it held the promise ring he had given me for Christmas he sold his skateboard and most of his video games he owned just to get it for me. I examined it for a moment closed the box put it to the side and continued looking through the bag. Not finding what I was looking for I ripped open the other bag until I found it. The scrapbook I started making with all of our favorite pictures of us in it. I opened it and flipped through a couple of pages. Satisfied with my findings I got up and searched through my desk for the pocket knife I had gotten him when I went to South Carolina for a week with my father step mom and step brothers. I walked back to my window and with out thinking I whipped the closed pocket knife at him it nearly hit his cheek but just barely missed and hit the ground a foot away from him next went the small blue box it missed him as well and landed on the ground next to him he just sat there and started up at me. The rain was still coming down I couldn't tell if he was still crying or not. I stood there for a moment looking at him. I picked up the scrapbook and threw it at him. Again it missed hitting the wall separating my window from the driveway of my neighbors house where Abel was standing.

"Pick them up." I demanded. Even though they are just little things to me they were once important and I knew it would kill him to see them again.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and used it as a flashlight he found the ring gave up on finding the pocket knife and finally climbed the wall knelt down on the ground picked up the scrapbook and opened it. He started flipping through the pages choking back sobs as he looked at all of the memories frozen in time.

We went back and fourth for 3 hours. Him crying and me telling him how much I hated him and crying also. I was slowly starting to break. I knew I couldn't lie to myself and he knew everything I was saying to him was partly a lie as well. I couldn't deny that I still did love him I still did care and a part of me really did want to be with him again. He never faltered he didn't deny any question or accusation that came out of my mouth. He kept telling me he changed and he wanted to try again and make things right. A mix of emotions hit me all at once. Do people really do change?

It was 3 o'clock in the morning. It's still raining. Abel is still crying. I get up slowly and go to grab a jacket that he had left at my house. He has his head down on my window sill. I can here him softly crying.

"Abel. It's 3 o'clock in the morning. You need to go." I say trying to put the jacket around him. Despite everything I still can't see someone sit there cold and wet.

He looks up I at me. "I'm so sorry Riley. Please I'm so sorry. Please don't make me go." He sobs trying to push the jacket away. "I don't want it it smells like you."

"No Abel no I don't care take the jacket and go please."

There's a moment that passes between us as the music that has been playing in my room all night switches songs to a familiar toon. Stay by Mayday Parade fills my room. We stare at each other both listening to the slow sad song. With out hesitation Abel pushes himself up to the window and climbs into my room. I stand there staring at him dumbfounded as his wet clothes makes a small puddle where he's standing. A few more moments go by and suddenly I fling myself at him hitting his chest and crying.

"Why! Why Abel why! Why did you do this to me why!" I yell trying to hit him. It's a good thing my father and step mother are both working tonight and the boys are with their father or the whole house would be awake right now.

He softly grabs at my arms trying to hold me back from hitting him. "I'm sorry Riley." He says softly. "Please...I never meant to hurt you..."

I calm down enough to stop trying to hit him. I pull my arms from his gentle grip and I look up at him he has a good 9 inches on me as he stares down at me with sad blue eyes.

"I love you. I love you Riley."

I shake my head fiercely the tears already falling from my eyes. He reaches out to touch me but I take a step back still shaking my head. He takes a step towards me. We continue with that until I'm up against my bedroom wall. His face inches from mine. "Riley please..." I look up at him tears are running down his face his wet hair sticking to his forehead. "I love you." He whispers closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. His hand reaches up to touch my cheek. My breath hitches but I don't move. He slowly traces my jaw line leans in and kisses me. It catches me off guard at first but something in me doesn't want him to stop. I kiss him back missing the soft feel of his lips against mine.