Words Unspoken (The Vampire Diaries)

Chapter 19

Buddhist temples are designed to symbolize the five elements: fire, air, earth, water, and wisdom. A massive statue of Buddha himself sits at the front of the prayer room, dozens of bare heads bowed before it. Every morning, bright and early, bells ring and drums pound to rouse the monks from their sleep. For hours they chant together and in my sleeplessness, I carefully tap my fingernail against the mattress to the tempo of their worship. Elena peacefully slumbers through the night, no matter how loud the clash of noises travels through the frail walls and ceilings.

The same monk, Jinpa, arrives to deliver Elena's breakfast each morning, a white bowl filled with rice and vegetable broth. By then, my angel is in the last stages of sleep, moaning for me to softly stroke her back. I usually spend that time glancing around the small room with its simple off-white walls and fiery red curtains that ripple in the breeze of the open window. The floors slightly creak as men pass our door, sending vibration up the bed posts. When Tenzin had first introduced this tiny space to me, I can't say I wasn't disappointed. Two skinny beds lined the wall, the only furniture besides a small dresser and an array of bonsai trees with a Buddha carving in the center.

Since then, I've pushed the bed frames together, so that I can sleep beside her as she dozes off, and luckily there is a small bathroom attached with a bathtub and running water. The only decent outlet in the entire space is hidden behind the hand towel to the right of the sink. I've been using the lonesome hole in the wall to charge my electronics. For three months, I have lived the same day over and over, on a never-ending reel. Although the monastery has provided her with special teas and prayers and endless bowls of pure origination, she has only improved slightly.

"Her body is turning on her. She is too weak to defend herself, meaning she's vulnerable," Tenzin had told me one night in the monastery's kitchen.

His brown eyes glared into mine as he sipped his tea, pointing at a small pot of flowers on the window sill. Softly, he trailed his finger over the petals, smiling slightly.

"Elena is like a flower. You water a flower and she blooms. You poison a flower and she wilts."

In that moment, I finally came to the realization that I poisoned her, that I was the person who allowed her to wither away. The monks know all about the supernatural world...not that they necessarily support any of it. They believe there's a special place for soulless monsters, but he would never admit it.

"She is a very special girl. Her purity is what every monk dreams of being. They taught us this legend of a girl whose innocence is unlike anything we could imagine, someone as much like Buddha that we could only see her as Nirvana. That tattoo, it's so rare and intricate. There are only two people on the planet who can replicate it by hand. There's a formula to it, an arithmetic."

"Tenzin, please explain something to me...can she be helped?" The words flutter from my lips and I grip my chair in fear.

"Over time, I suppose. You admitted that you took her virginity, am I correct?"

I nod hesitantly.

"So much innocence was taken from her. She is still incredibly weak, but I'm not sure why she's not improving by now. Something's still poisoning her."

"Help her then," I hissed, "Get the fucking poison out of her. Do something already."

My chest was heaving suddenly and I had felt the blood vanish from my cheeks.

"A part of innocence is resilience. Elena, as you have probably seen, recovers quickly from trauma, as if it never happened. You may fear for her well-being, but innocence like hers allows her to accept things as they are. If she allowed the pain of the world to drown her, her innocence would be destroyed with it. Elena cannot allow the empathy she feels for others consume her. The death of her family, the pain she feels for them would break her if she let it," He sighed, "What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that Elena will recover, Damon. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but with the help of the monks here, she will blossom again. Trust me."