Take a Shot

Memoriam

I sat in the shower, back against the wall, knees tucked tight to my chest as the water fell over me. I set my chin on my knees, even the warm water not soothing the pain.

Pain. Was it pain? Was it numbness?

Love is weakness, they had told me. But they also told me I needed to be willing to kill, willing to die for my king and queen. What else was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to feel for them, the people I'd have surrendered my life for, my second family, if not love?

Not that it mattered. The option to kill for them had been impossible, and the right to die for them had been cruelly stripped from me.

"She's been in there an awful long time," Matt muttered, stretching his arms above his head. I nodded.

"We can't barge in unless someone else makes a scene, though."

"I know. I just...I don't know." Matt set his elbows on the table, setting his chin in his hands and looking past me, towards the city's gate not far from the restaurant we sat in front of. "Maybe I'm just jumpy because I haven't been out of the castle on a real mission in a while. Babysitting Roma has gotten a lot easier the older she's gotten."

"What, are you afraid Lea is lonely in there?" I teased, keeping my head tipped low, like I was reading the newspaper I'd picked up. Matt laughed.

"It's not that. I'm just worried."

"Worry less. She can handle herself diplomatically and magically. And she trusts us; she'll call for help if things get hairy."

Matt and I both looked down at my temperance device. She was wearing one today, too, connected to mine. She could call for us at any moment. We were about two buildings away, but teleporting two people a short distance was now a small feat for me, so the further away we were, the safer she was.

Our queen had a rough go of it recently; our king, Joy, took off a few months ago, leaving her just a note and no idea if or when he might be back. Harmony was rocked by losing a monarch, but Lea promised to step up and still fulfil her duties to the fullest even in her king's absence. Since then, she'd thrown herself into her diplomacy missions, maybe to avoid facing the half-empty bed in their large room. More than one night had found me in the small cafeteria on the royals' wing, silently mourning with the crestfallen queen.

I had mocked Matt for being nervous, but I couldn't deny that I was, too. Sending Lea in alone had not been my first choice. But this situation was delicate. Harmony was headquartered in Dalal, a continent renowned for having few magicians, certainly few powerful ones. Lea and Joy, both magicians with a terrible amount of talent, being crowned Queen and King was a nice bargaining chip: it helped stave off some ambitious Xiallese businesses that wanted to set up in Dalal; it garnered some respect from contacts in Quky, since the whole continent loved magicians; it had opened up some new alliances in Piagoa, where Lea hailed from. Today's business, as Lea told it, was to consolidate one long-standing alliance with a newer one here in a mainland Kyese city to help head off a potential uprising in the area.

"We're just supposed to sit out here and wait, right?"

"You really are out of practice if you're asking stupid questions like that."

"You try running after a rambunctious little Tamer all day every day and see if even the amazing Emerald gets a little rusty."

"I did, when I was protecting Joy. At least when Roma's doing stupid stuff, you can pick her up and put her somewhere else. When Joy did stupid stuff, he ran off and made a new heiress."