Catch Me When I Fall [BxB]

Emotional Chaos

Tyrone's anxiety shifts to something a little more flustered.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"Khai likes you, you like him, but you're not dating." I explain a little further.

To my dismay, the flustered feeling changes yet again, this time to a conflicted tangle of chaos.

"It's destroying me, you know? I want to be with him so badly... I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my life." Tyrone starts. "But I feel like I can't because I'm too emotionally unstable and it just... sucks so bad. I fucking hate myself sometimes, I just wish I could be a different person." He adds, dismayed.

"Hey, Khai fell in love with you and there's only one of you." I try to reassure him. It works, because he becomes hopeful suddenly.

"I guess I did handle all the conflict today pretty well. That gave me a bit of hope, or confidence." Tyrone tells me. "I just... I hope he actually likes me for who I am."

"I'm sure he does. But if it's really causing you doubt, find some time to talk to him about it. You guys do both have good communication with each other. Just... not so much when it comes to your feelings for each other." I say, and Tyrone nods his head, agreeing.

"I know. I just don't... I don't want him to know until I'm sure I'm actually ready for a relationship." Tyrone is thoughtful for a second. "You seem to be good at reading people, Killian. Do you think you could... well, how do you think Khai would react if I told him I liked him, too? He'd probably want to make a relationship out of it then, right?"

"Want to? Yes, he already does. But he's also very understanding."
I reply.

"I know. But it feels cruel to make him wait like that if he knows. Especially because he struggles with patience."

"I get that. I know that whole thing with Zevon kind of shocked him, too."

"Yeah... I don't get it, I don't get how people can be like that to someone so...well, you know, the way Khai is." Tyrone says.

"Yeah, I know. And he plotted that shit out so deeply. He's just a horrible person sometimes. He wanted Khai and he'd do anything to keep someone to himself, even if it means hurting that person somehow. Like I told you, he's very possessive."

"Okay, but if he really cared about Khai, he wouldn't actively let him get beat up. I don't get people who can hurt someone they love like that." Tyrone says, and I suddenly feel that it's not just about Khai.

"I don't think Zevon actually loved Khai yet. They knew each other for a week. I think it's more lust or something." I share my opinion.

Tyrone nods.

"I feel like Khai needs some time to process everything before I tell him I like him." He says.

"That's very considerate of you." I say.

Tyrone shrugs, and I smile at how strong his passion for Khai is.

"That's what someone who cares about him would do." He says calmly, though I know he's really riled up and carrying spite towards Zevon.

"You're very protective of Khai, of course you're angry." I tell him when I pick up on a little bit of self-loathing.

"I don't like being angry, though. It scares me and it's the exact thing that holds me back with Khai. What if I hurt him? That'd be worse than anyone or anything else." He says.

"I think the fact that you get mad at the people who hurt Khai but not mad at Khai for hurting you says enough." I assure him.

He smiles at me, then looks at the ground thoughtfully for a moment.