Lemony Snicket's Quotes

Chapter One - One beginning.

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."

― Lemony Snicket

"Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness."

― Lemony Snicket

"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another."

― Lemony Snicket

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."

― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."

― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."

― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

"A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk."

― Lemony Snicket

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting."

― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

"Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily."

― Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

"...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit."

― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

"Well-read people are less likely to be evil."

― Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'."

― Lemony Snicket

"The sad truth is the truth is sad."

― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

"It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong."

― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

"There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself."

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"The moral of Snow White is never eat apples."

― Lemony Snicket

"Taking one's chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."

― Lemony Snicket

"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."

― Lemony Snicket

"At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey."

― Lemony Snicket