Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

Five

Five

 “Hi, Mand, it’s only me,” Amy said, balancing the phone between her chin and shoulder, trying simultaneously to clean the bathroom mirror, hold a telephone conversation and stop Holly from running around like the Andrex puppy with the toilet paper. “I was just wondering if you’re in, today? I thought we might pop round for a coffee.”

“Yes, we’re in all day,” Amanda said. “It makes a nice change actually. We’ve been so busy lately. What time were you thinking - you could come for dinner if you like?”

“No, thanks, but don’t worry about food. Ben’s cooking a romantic meal this evening. I think we’ll treat the kids to pizza later, and with a bit of luck, get them tucked up in bed nice and early.”

“Wow,” Amanda marvelled, “I think Steve needs to take a leaf or two out of Ben’s book. His idea of a romantic meal is eating out…”

“Well that’s not so bad, is it?”

“Hold on, let me finish. Eating out at any pub with a big screen TV and two meals for a fiver if you order before six o’clock.”

“Oh, I see,” laughed Amy. “I’ll get Ben to drop a few hints, shall I?”

“Hmm, and cooking lessons. Anyway, what have you all been up to - anything exciting?”

Amy’s paranoia led her to wonder if Amanda was fishing for details of the ‘streaking incident’. Ben had swore blind he hadn’t told anyone, but she knew he’d told his mother, and if Martha knew, the whole world probably knew.

“No, not really,” she said.

“Oh, right, well, we can chat later.”

“Yep, see you about elevenish?”

“Great. See you later.”

Amy wiped the last smear from the mirror, and looked at her reflection.

Oh, God, look at those lines. She scrutinized her face, pulling it around like a lump of Play Doh. I look like a middle aged woman. I suppose I am a middle aged woman. She sighed. Doesn’t mean I have to look like one, though. Grey hairs and lines. I dread to think what’ll be next - varicose veins, probably. I shouldn’t have cleaned the mirror. I looked ten years younger through the smears - at least five.

 “So, how’s things?” Steve enquired, shooting an ominous glance at Ben.

“Yes, Steve, I do know about Adrian,” Amy said dryly. “And yes, he is permitted to see him again, with certain provisos. Subject closed!”

“Bloody hell,” said Steve, “I only said ‘how’s things’. I think I’ll just sit here and keep my mouth shut.”

“I doubt it,” said Amy.

“What’s all this then?” Amanda asked, handing out mugs of tea and coffee.

“I’ll tell you later, love,” Steve said, taking heed of Amy’s words.

“What’s been keeping you two so busy then?” Amy asked as Amanda sat down.

“Oh, you name it,” she said. Weddings, christenings, birthday parties. It was my sister’s fortieth last week. It’s just seems none stop lately. I could do with a night in front of the telly to be honest.”

“How is Jill?” Ben asked. “I can’t believe she’s forty.”

“No, neither can she,” laughed Amanda. “She didn’t really want to celebrate the fact that she’s over the hill, but...”

“Oi, are you forgetting that I’ll be forty this year?” Ben said.

“No, I wasn’t forgetting,” she smiled. “As I was saying, Pete couldn’t let such a milestone pass by without so much as a mention, so he organized a little get together; just immediate family and close friends. It was a good laugh. Jill got totally legless. She doesn’t drink very often, so it doesn’t take much. And then last night, I was at a friends hen party, so that’s another wedding we’ve got, and Steve was out with an old friend who he hasn’t seen for years - just happened to bump in to him in the bank. What’s his name again, Ste? Adrian, was it?”