Kevin's POV
It took me a while to realize I just committed an act beyond bravery. I willingly touched Alix's junk...
Starting to remember exactly what went on underneath those sheets right next to me made my face flush with unstoppable heat. Yet, I enjoyed this. Waking up in the morning seeing his face. Natural as it gets. No makeup for stage, or photo shoots, or filming, but his real self. The sound of him showering early in the morning I could get used to. Even start joining him.
The hotel room was to dark to keep this good of a mood going. Oh, how I wanted it to last a long time. Never to end. I walked over to the glass wall in search of something to help move the blinds from blocking the beautiful view. Moving the blinds aside and allowing the room to be lit with outside's light, I felt as if I opened a door to a whole new world. A world with Alix as mine.
The water stopped wear Alix was taking a shower. I caught myself thinking way to ahead. We barley came to notice our feelings for each other and haven't even reasonably talked about this. When would we get the chance with the upcoming schedule. And even if we did find the time to discuss such, what and how would we discuss?
This love... It was a sin to many... It was wrong to plenty, but felt right to way more to know it was perfectly okay. It's not widely accepted, but I don't think I could ever care about nonsense like that. The love I have affects my love and I, no one else. Therefore it was important to me, and for myself to have self acceptance. Though I still didn't know how I came upon to this liking.
When exactly did I start feeling this way for Alix, and Alix only? Because there is liking to Bailey to. We clicked, and I still have a growing interest for her, but how am I able to carry on with both? And if not both then with which one?
This questioning of everything made my head begin to hurt and I wasn't sure exactly how to end it. Knowing Alix was nearly out of his shower, by the time I'd go through my bag in search of pills he'd catch on to the fact that something is wrong. I can't stand the fact of lying, so exactly how could I avoid this obstacle...?
I flinched, every muscle jolting hearing the restroom knob turn allowing the door to swing open. I stood still somehow in a daze. Steam escaped the tiny room and into our two bed room. The heat from the shower made my hands sweaty and clammy for I knew I was starting to self doubt and think unreasonably. Walking out came Alix with a towel around his neck, shorts and a black shirt.
"Can you explain why you're still in your boxers, dude?" Alix pointed out as he put one arm around his head, stretching. He squinted a bit from the light outside he hadn't seen before the shower. I saw the flex of his muscles and my face burned with a rosy blush. I looked down noticing my bulge of manly hood, and only a thin lace of fabric for boxers covering what could easily be won over by Alix's charm.
"Woah! Sorry, man I got caught up in thought while trying to get things situated." I flipped. I needed clothes, bottoms for the most, but where was my stuff? Oh, god he's staring at me weirdly, I just know it. Quit!
"Kevin, whats up? Your shorts are on the bed..." Alix walked over to the bed covered in sheets not yet made, chunking the shorts at me I grabbed them before they could fall onto the carpet floor. The sheets were mint green and thin and silky keeping in warmth perfectly. One bed's sheets were all wrinkled and nearly tossed off the bed from certain actions taken place last night. Other bed had nothing touched to it.
"Sorry, I'm not sure what that was about, I lost train of thought!" I smiled trying to cover up my embarrassment and mislocation.
My upper body was still naked. No shirt, nothing. An area sensitive to Alix's touch, but not the most. I had out a shirt already though. Did I misplace that as well? The bed! Check the bed, so I won't look like a fool again. I moved the sheets around just to save the embarrassment.
"Lookin' for your shirt? It's in the bathroom." Alix stood at the end of the bed blocking the path to make way towards the restroom. I made my way around, not daring to bother saying a word. I've freaked enough... I feel as if my heart could jump out of my body for good.
Just as I took a step past Alix, I was caught off guard by Alix's grip to my right arm. Remembering my upper body being naked, a tingling sensation made way from there all the way to my red face .
"You okay?" He asked with a sincere yet serious look to his face.
"Okay about what?" I asked confused. What else would I not be okay about for him to ask me so seriously? All I did was misplace my clothes, it's only human.
"You know what I mean. Does it hurt? To sit? To walk?" That's all it took for me to jerk out of his grip and stumble backwords right into the wall. Light headed to the extreme, I couldn't believe he just asked that. It was a reasonble question, and such, but to direct!
"I'm... Fine." I took a big breathe trying to balance and stable myself. To my surprise Alix chuckled.
He chuckled? Alix wore a sly smirk on his face. Of mysterious playboy almost like.
"What was that laugh for?" I asked, feeling a bit hurt and rage at one, for a reason I couldn't quite explain or put my finger on.
"I didn't laugh."
"Yes, you did!" Did he just lie? Is he messing with me right now? I stood there against the wall. Taking my time trying to rethink if whether or night I just saw something that didn't happen. I looked up, Alix still gazing my way, and I saw it. His smirk again. It looked mean.
He chuckled once more.
"You did it again..." Is he playing with me? It's really irritating me.
"Hmm?" Alix's tone acted as if he had no clue what I could be talking about.
I marched into the restroom to claim my shirt, and threw it on over my head.
"I'm going out to buy some medicine, and take a walk." I grabbed my necessaries and made way out, closing the door completely shut behind, I kept on walking. That feeling of slight rage and hurt didn't go away even though I'm not cooped in a room alone with Alix anymore. I was hoping it would. Am I scared of immediate rejection, that I'm reacting such ways over a chuckle?
The anxiety, and jumpy feeling, of everything thing closing in on me because of him. Because of the fact we took thing so far last night with each other who've been like brothers since childhood. So, just why do I not feel better. I felt fine while he was showering, until I came to my senses of how unrealstic I was thinking... Maybe this is a immature phase of false love.
In the end will I just be hurt by Alix? Bailey? Or will I be the one to cause the scaring pain to myself, even worse to them as well? I have no possible answer...
*****Author's Note: Took a really long time to bring myself back and finish this off, I found the confidence once again and decided to continue what I started, good or bad, it feels like an obligation. Hope it was enjoyable, I will write more and publish more chapters in the near future. Thanks for reading! (:*****
