SFSD-X

Round 1 - Notes

For the benefit of anyone that reads this who is not part of the contest (and so that I can remind myself what I was thinking in the future when I come back to this) I thought I'd write some notes about the story...

The prompt was an easy one in a lot of ways - a Lost World story where the only constraint was the year (2815) and location (below the 60th parallel south). In addition we had to pick five objects out of of a list of ten to use in the story. The setting was a world ravaged by continuous war. Plenty of scope, but enough to get an amateur story-teller started.

So, I was thinking something like The Famous Five in Waterworld, where the objects would be clues to solve a mystery, and given there's no dry land on the 60th parallel then the obvious solution was either underwater or floating...

Unfortunately, no doubt due to my lack of experience, I spent far too long thinking about it and started too late. A few Real Life problems came up close to the time, and I had to rush to get it finished (and it was still three or four days past the deadline before I submitted it  :(

Anyway, the story itself is based on the idea of a floating island created initially from decommissioned war ships from the third world war. Subsequently it has been expanded with more war ships, and laterly by hijacking freighters that sail autonomously across the Southern Ocean carrying supplies for troops fighting current wars (that last bit I accidental cut out trying to get the word-count down, doh!)

The inhabitants of the island are like worker bees; brought up in creches, schooled and put to work in the island. Their free time is spent in bars and theatres or rooms with some sort of VR that offers video-type games. (Other aspects that I probably shouldn't have tried to get across are that they don't know their parents; when old enough women give birth to two children before being put to work. They can 'Pair' - sort of get married but there's no ongoing commitment other than space allocation. There were lots of other details that didn't even make it into the story). 

They are told that after ten years they are 'Going Home'; they are euthanized, although they don't realise this (so, like Logan's Run but without the reincarnation, but they don't really have a concept of what it means anyway, just that they will be gone after 10 years...)

As they grow up they are taught the history of the Island, and in particular that early on the inhabitants divided, and one group attempted a coup over the rest. They are told that the outside world is a wicked place (which it is, with continuous fighting between nation states) and that they are lucky to be able to live peacefully, wanting for nothing (which they do not - they really are happy!)

Then the MC and his love interest each receive an object, which is a clue to solve a mystery, and being clever and inquisitive they investigate. It is supposed to be clear that they are far cleverer than their peers.

Eventually they find their way into the oldest area of the Island, in the centre. Unbeknownst to the rest of the inhabitants, there is a separate group of people here living in comparative luxury, with plants and natural light. They live until they die of old age, they enjoy intellectual pursuits and they also run the rest of the island by sending instructions through terminals to the 'worker bees'. They are in fact the descendants of the Founders, and the group that attempted the coup - the coup succeeded, and the utopia they originally envisaged was enforced on the rest.

The MCs are told they have been chosen to join this group as a result of their intelligence and the curiosity they showed in following the clues. The implication at the end is that if they don't stay, they won't be allowed to go back (since they now know the secret) and instead will be 'Going Home' early.

But I wanted as well to have the story ambiguous as to whether it is a 'good thing' or a 'bad thing'. If those on the 'outside' of the Island were born in a nation state they would have been conscripted and would be fighting in a war. They could easily be living the same type of life; onboard a war ship or submarine, with no freedom, but instead of being guaranteed 10 years of happiness, they could be dead already, ripped apart by a Rail-Gun. The character of Simon is there to show that vindictive individuals are still born in the island - the coup took place initially as a result of those with such characters forming themselves into cliques and dividing the inhabitants. If people like Simon were free to make decisions then that would destabilise the Island. So only people like Dan and Amy are chosen by the Founders to continue to run the Island for future generations. And their wisdom will be trusted - they question, and they will have the chance to question the way the Island is run when their time comes, when the Old Man and the Tall Lady die, and they take over...

Overall I'm reasonably happy with the idea of the plot. There are a few problems, like whether it's plausible the Founders have never been discovered (except by inviting individuals to solve clues). Also, there are practical difficulties, like getting supplies in from the 'outside'  area of the island to the centre without those in the centre being found out. And maintenance tasks and so on - do they do that all themselves, with no help from the 'worker bees'? I've not considered any sort of policing or judiciary to keep the 'worker bees' in check. Do any of them refuse to do their work? Do fights never break out? Are there break-ups and jealousies? Actually there are a lot of problems! Perhaps the idea was too ambitious for 10,000 words?

Also I didn't make best use of the objects. The pack of cards with the aces missing, and the google play card, were used well. The others just appeared as incidental objects in the story, so I'll no doubt lose some points there. 

Lots of influences in this story; there was an episode of Babylon 5 where, due to a problem with the software in a lift, part of a level of the station was skipped (the lift stopped at the level above, then the level below). Also there are plenty of stories like Brave New World where children are not raised by their parents and are kept happy with drugs and mindless pastimes. I read a story a long time ago where scrap ships were sunk in the middle of the ocean to form an island (can't remember the name of it though).

Still, great fun to write, and too bad I'm going to lose so many points for it being late. I'm kind of expecting to get a negative score on this one, actually... :)