Just Him&I: In Universe of Cruelty

Part 31

My life is like the keys of a piano,
There are black, and there are white colors.
There are joyful days, there are sad, unlucky ones –
They go up, then roll down from the top.

And it seemed that there was no snow under my feet anymore, and the sun rose more slowly. Everything today seemed somewhat off, but I believed that everything would change for the better. When I almost stepped over the threshold of a building painfully familiar to me. My heart trembled inside, like back then in the courtroom when we first met. People hurried past me in all directions. I noticed a young couple sweetly talking, holding hands. They were happy and radiated a certain warmth. Suddenly, I heard loud swearing behind me and turned around, trying to understand what happened.

A dog had approached a man of average build with subtle wrinkles and short stature. (And in that green jacket, he reminded me of some kind of elf.) The dog tried to wrest a piece of bun which the man was enjoying. But from his reaction, it was immediately clear he didn't intend to share. Most likely the dog was stray, a bit untidy, but very beautiful. It had thick light-gray fur. I watched this scene with amusement in my eyes, shifting from foot to foot. It eased the inner tension a bit and finally I was able to unlock the door with the keys. The duplicates that James had given me right after we moved in here. For which I was grateful to him. Even though the house was located outside the city — that didn't mean there were no neighbors. So it was rare and not always possible to meet passersby, like today for example. I kept thinking about that dog for a few more seconds. Sometimes I loved them too much, maybe in the near future things would work out, who knows.

I walked down a dark, long hallway, quietly stepping toward the sound in the living room. I heard the noise of the TV being on, and my steps were almost silent. A strong smell of alcohol hit my nose and I was already afraid to imagine what I would see there. The light from the TV stung my eyes unpleasantly, the living room was dark like the other rooms. The curtains covered the windows, and the only light came from the TV, just enough to make out the silhouettes of the furniture. I took a step forward, he was sitting with his back to me, and either didn't feel my presence or was just pretending. But I could feel his quiet breathing, how he raised the bottle of whiskey to his lips, taking big gulps. I didn't see his face, but I was sure he was staring at the floor, not at the TV, where some random show was playing — the kind you leave on in case you finally go insane. I felt the liquid slowly flow inside me from the throat to the bottom of my stomach, touching every organ on its way down. And that liquid was called fear, worry, anxiety. You can come up with many synonyms, explain it in different languages of the world, but a person will never understand it unless they experience it themselves.
I slowly placed my hand on his shoulder, but he didn't react. And then, after a second, he groaned discontentedly.

— Steve, leave me, I said I'm fine! — his voice didn't sound drunk at all. That wasn't surprising — there's serum in his system and he's physically incapable of getting drunk. But it seemed alcohol still helped somehow. He turned his head toward me, expecting to see his friend there. But when he saw me, his eyes widened, and his eyebrows lifted.

— God, Mia... — these words came out of him with a rush of air. It seemed like a weight had lifted from his chest and he felt better. I pulled my hand back, pressing my lips together.

— I'm sorry I didn't tell you about... you know. I was just afraid that you'd... And it happened, but you came back. — he placed the whiskey bottle on the table and pulled my hand to him, squeezing it so that I could finally feel his presence nearby. So I'd understand that I could never leave this person. I think my mom would have done exactly the same in my place. And if heaven and hell exist, then I think she's watching from above and is very happy for me. Because it seems like I made the right choice.

— I needed time to process that information. There was no other way. — I slightly tilted my head so my black hair would fall over my face and exhaled lightly. When I said I would take revenge on the one who killed my mother, those were overly loud words. You shouldn't plan ahead what you don't know and aren't sure about. But as they say — a fool learns from his own mistakes, and a wise person from the mistakes of others. Or maybe it's better to be a fool, so you don't keep stepping on the same rake?
I leaned closer to him, inhaling the scent I knew so well — it drove me crazy. My lips touched his, and I tasted the bitter, yet so pleasant flavor of whiskey. The clock in the room had stopped, and the TV had long since gone quiet. Or maybe I just couldn't hear it anymore. I felt only his lips, his body, and his warm breath.
He clasped my waist with both hands and kissed me hard and quickly, but passionately as much as he could. I felt the heaviness and warmth of his body completely. And I was now at the sofa, not behind him. He had been holding me on his feet for a long time, and his hands slid lower to his hips. I felt him laughing through the kiss and I liked it. There was no longer any anxiety in the lower abdomen, it is more like butterflies that circled continuously. But we all know that this is only a part of love and sympathy. His metal hand slid down my stomach to my chest, where the buttons of his shirt were located. He still held me tightly to his chest, demonstrating his dominance and power over me. I only felt a kiss showing that I didn't mind at all. I heard his thirst pressing directly into my stomach. How did she feel? Hard and warm, his flesh is warm, but all muscles are hard. He bit me on the neck, knowing that there would be a trace.

— Damn...—  I whisper, feeling my body shaking only from his touch. My shirt has been torn for a long time and I'm only left in my underwear. A self-wised smile shines on his face. And I don't even have time to notice when he got rid of his T-shirt. Or it wasn't wearing it.

— I can't live without you. —  his voice intoxicates me and he turns off all controls, holding the remote control in his hands. And successfully hits the right buttons. When he presses his whole body against me, I barely rest on my feet, he holds me with his hands. And if it weren't for his hand, I would have fallen, I hear our skin touching each other. And mine begins to get hotter from him, from rubbing and just being together. I inhale air through my teeth, but he doesn't let me do it, covering my lips. A slight pain in the pelvic area still accompanies me, but I try to ignore it. I breathe hard trying to control my body, but when my hand slides to his chest and feel all the hardness of the moment and at that time, I surrender to him completely. I'm already starting to move slowly, leaning my hands on his chest. He helps me by taking almost all my weight on himself. He runs his metal hand into my hair, slowly rubbing the back of my head, goosebumps run over my skin. And I hear him quietly wheezing, tilting his head back. I see his Adam's apple shaking and I can't resist, first I put my tongue on his neck and then I don't bite much, which makes him exhale sharply.