Tangled Beliefs

Chapter-63: Facing Her fear

Forgiving him wasn’t easy... but I realized I had to stop clinging to the pain if I ever wanted to hold his hand again.

Nandini’s POV,

I didn’t say a word the entire ride back from the hospital. I sat beside Manik, yet I couldn’t feel him. His presence, once a comfort that anchored me, now hovered like a ghost in the background of a storm I hadn’t prepared for. My thoughts… they weren’t even thoughts anymore — just fragments. Fragments of memories, voices, accusations, truths, and lies, all crashing like thunder inside me.

My body moved on its own as we walked into our room. I didn’t even take off my shoes. I didn’t meet Manik’s eyes. I couldn’t. My heart was racing. My breathing is shallow.

I needed to escape.

I walked straight into the bathroom, shut the door behind me, turned the lock, and leaned against the wall. I could feel Manik outside, pacing maybe, probably worrying — but I couldn’t face him right now.

I turned on the shower. Ice cold. Let it hit me. Let it slap against my skin. Let it drown the screaming chaos inside my head.

The water poured down my face, and I didn’t even flinch.

“He never untrusted you, Nandini… he was protecting you… He was saving you from going to jail…”

Her words echoed in my ears like a haunting lullaby. A lullaby I didn’t want to hear… not now. Not when I had spent years believing I wasn’t worth protecting.

I stood there, shivering… both from the cold and the confusion.

“Why now?” I whispered under my breath, my voice cracking.

“Why didn’t they tell me before? Why did I have to suffer alone, thinking they hated me? Thinking… I was unwanted?”

I clutched the tiled wall, letting the water mix with the tears I could no longer control.

“I hated him. I hated Dad for leaving me… for calling me a mistake. For looking at me like I didn’t exist. And all this time, he was… protecting me?”

I let out a small, broken laugh.

“Protecting me by abandoning me?” My voice rose in disbelief. “Who does that to their child?”

I turned around and faced the showerhead, water pelting my skin as I hugged myself.

“For years… I begged for answers. I waited for a call, a message, a sign that I wasn’t the problem. But all I got was silence. You made me believe I was a disgrace, Dad…”

My knees buckled. I slowly sat on the wet floor of the shower, curling into myself.

“And Mom… You stayed silent, too. You watched me break. You knew the truth. You knew I was innocent, yet you looked at me like I’d brought shame to our family…”

The pain ripped through my chest like a knife.

“Didu left. Bhai too got busy. And I… I was just… alone.”

The sobs shook me.

“I built walls, I trained myself not to care. To survive. And now… You expect me to accept it? That you lied… for my protection?”

I shut my eyes tightly. The water now barely felt like anything. My skin was numb. My soul was tired.

“I want to believe you, Mom… I do. I want to forgive Dad. I want to feel like a daughter again. But I don’t know how. I don’t know how to forget the nights I cried myself to sleep, begging the stars to tell me why my parents stopped loving me.”