Newbie

38: Oh Shit

My heart beats rapidly in my chest, but I try my best to ignore it. I feel Luca's palm on the small of my back as he guides us through the large crowd of teenagers laughing, dancing, and barely leaving room for Jesus.

This may be my first homecoming dance, but from my vast movie and book knowledge, this looks more like a wedding. Huge bouquets of white and pink roses sit on each table, the walls are covered in white floor-to-ceiling curtains that make the ceiling look fifty feet tall, and about 10 small chandeliers dangle from the ceiling around the main one in the center of the dance floor. Of course, MBPA could never hang streamers from a gym ceiling and call it a day.

I keep one foot in front of the other, trusting Luca's hand to guide me the correct way. After we make it through the center of the venue, I finally see all of our friends gathered at a table with two empty chairs. I'm pleasantly surprised to see Cleo engaged in conversation with Marlee and Bailey without me even being there.

As we get closer, I feel Luca's hand drop from my back, and before I have even a second to let my insecurities and hurt fly, he grabs my left hand and pulls me to a stop before our friends have a chance to see us.

" Rowan, relax, I can feel your tension," Luca mutters into my ear, with my back pressed against his front.

"I'm not tense," I reply, not looking into Luca's eyes because I know that he can spot my lies from a mile away.

"Bullshit." Luca takes my hand, spins me around, and forces me to look up at him. "What's wrong? I thought you had relaxed in the car?"

" I'm just a little overwhelmed. That's all"

Luca quirks a brow at me but doesn't say anything. I know my answer wasn't satisfactory enough for him, and by the look in his eyes, I don't think he is going to let me move until I come up with a better one.

"There are moments where I feel I am finally finding my footing, and I feel like I belong here and then-"

"You do belong here," Luca interrupts, pulling me closer to his body - if that's even possible - and bringing my arms to wrap around his neck. "You belong anywhere you want to be, Skylar"

I give him a grim smile and lean my head against his chest. I'm not sure when Luca Reid became the person I sought comfort in, but here we are. " This isn't me throwing a pity party, Luca; I know I deserve to be here. It's just that some moments make me wobble, like walking into a ballroom with decorations that cost more than my house. The grandeur of everyone's life here will never fail to make me feel small."

Luca is quiet for a moment, making me feel guilty that I ruined his homecoming dance with my personal issues that never seem to go away. His hand moves slowly up and down my back as I stare at one of the ridiculous chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

"Do I make you feel small?"

My head snaps back to his face. "What?"

"Me," he says, his voice quieter than before. "My house, my car, all of this shit. Do I make you feel small?"

The question catches me off guard. Luca Reid isn't exactly known for caring whether his existence intimidates other people. If anything, he prides himself on being a dominant force wherever he is.

"No," I answer honestly.

His eyes search mine like he's trying to decide if he believes me.

"Annoyed? Absolutely. Concerned for the size of your ego? Daily. But small?" I shake my head. "No, you are not that tall, Reid"

"Good." Luca's lips lift a little, and I smile back. "But I'm almost a foot taller than you, Rowan; don't get too ahead of yourself."

"Don't look so proud of yourself. There's a pretty large gap that makes it almost a foot from being a foot."