California Love | At Your Best (Tupac & Aaliyah FanFiction)

Reflection

hello loves :)

Leah.

I woke up to the sun shining in my face and rubbed my eyes aiding my vision in focusing. There was no sign of Ty anywhere and I remembered our naughty adventures over the past day and a half. The sex, the emotions, the love. All of it made my toes curl and head spin. It was too unreal. Better than the first time. I remember when he first saw my bruises that were pretty much healed but still visible.

He pulled my shirt over my head and indulged in the sight of my breasts in their lace black friend and the way they contoured from the nape of my neck and collarbone. I was hoping he wouldn't but he frowned at the sight of a dark patch on my stomach.

"What's this?" The concern in his voice made me rethink groaning at the thought of Jerome's actions. He saw the argument I was having with myself through my eyes and just as I drew in air to answer, he kissed the bruise ever so gently. "You know what?" Another gentle kiss that lasted a few beats longer followed. "Don't worry about it. We can talk about it later."

He knew exactly who did it. But neither of us wanted to ruin this moment. It was the first time in years since we were young teenagers that I'd lay nearly naked under his body matching the same description. I saw the anger he was holding back and I wanted to soothe him without making it awkward. The only way to do that was to continue....

He made me feel so good. Like I could be anyone I wanted to, anytime I wanted to. I felt free with him. Alive with him. Like I had purpose and mattered. It wasn't just the love making that did that to me. It was him. His kisses, his voice, his laugh... The way he talked, walked, hell, even the way he ate gave something deep within me an electrical charge I couldn't explain. That was so weird coming from me. The girl that was tantalizing with words. The girl that grew up in Compton writing poetry and music and wanting to be something above a label or low expectation. The girl that wanted to be an actress or singer or dancer or all three if she could. The girl that believed in herself when others didn't. The funny thing being that out of everyone that didn't, Ty did.

I was madly in love with that man and no one could tell me any different. No doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist could convince me that what I was feeling wasn't love. Or that the way I was feeling wasn't because I was in love or being loved.

Looking back on everything that I gave up when I gave up on being with Ty, I realized that I honestly didn't know who I was. If I knew who I was back then and loved that person, then I would've realized that I loved Ty and he loved me. Not saying that I love who I am now, but I've waited around for too long trying to love who I am and figure out what to do with my life. For now, I have Ty and he's helping me figure myself out while I'm giving him guidance along the way as well. Two heads are better than one and figuring out life's purpose takes some people their entire lives. And I don't want to be 50 or 60 years old just figuring out what I was supposed to be doing and what I was missing out on all of those years. So to sort of diminish the time it might take to find ourselves, we're working at it together. One day at a time. And I'm loving every bit of it.

This was short but there's more coming. :)

- |Elise Marie|