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Bi-Polar

By Tanya Maksousa

Two weeks ago I could accomplice any task asked of me. I wanted to swim every day for an hour regardless I could squeeze that in to my schedule no problem.

 Write an epic romance perfectly and have myself a best seller in month, course I can.

Take myself off to learn how to drive a classic car in an epic track chase, show me the track!

Take myself off to Uni and get away with only paying student fees, there’ll never know.

Diet my way back down to a size 14 in weeks. ? Hell yer, been there. Done that!

Not need another person on planet earth to chat with? Got that covered. I’m my own global sphere and anyway nobody thinks the way I do I must be Unique.

Sometimes I knew I’m on a manic phase. My self-belief sky rockets and I because obsessed with any number of things or just one.

This resent episode involved a book that I simply could not put down. In fact I stayed awake for over 24 hours reading it!

Others have included sewing or kitting projects and I have been known to turn from a couch potato to a party animal over- night and stay that way for a few weeks at a time.

The trouble is, when I’m manic I’m looking for perfection which is hardly ever achievable and almost always out of my reach.

That’s also another sign of a manic session impending, less sleep or insomnia.

Dam I drive like a pro me, it’s all the other idiots on the road that’s the problem.

Wow I could volunteer for something like working a soup kitchen or in an elderly people’s home and ide be good at it.

OK so I’ve just been paid for the next two weeks, let’s go on a spending spree and sod the consequences.

I’m going to have that cake and possibly the other one because I have to do is exercise tomorrow and the thyroid meds will see to the rest.

My sex drive hits the astral plains and I’m a wanting woman with absolutely no morals at all and if any remain to ruin my moment I squash them like a bug. Oh yes that right, dam I’m hot and yes I feel sexy and a size 16 ass is the best size ass you could have.

If my body didn’t need the food, it wouldn’t ask for it, stands to reason that!

I’m very good at my job, I work very hard when I’m there in fact I could do more than I do already, I will remember to tell my boss that.

A manic phase can make you oblivious to consequences. I.e. if you drop a stone in a pond, the stone will make ripples but a manic won’t see them.

 If you do see a ripple you’re probably thinking ‘Do I give a shit anyway?’ But what usually goes through my mind is, throw it in the water! In fact bloody jump in after it what you waiting for?

But the cost of the downer that usually follows right after the jump can sometimes be too high to bare and found in each and every ripple you’ve ever made.

This week after a bad tooth infection and other medical niggle's I crashed.

Just two weeks ago I was having a manic episode. Only a little one this time compared to some of the others I’ve experienced but now I’m on the opposite side of the coin.

The downer started yesterday.

I realised it was impending when I went to Uni. I couldn’t concentrate properly and were as last week the words were falling out of my head like confetti before hitting my keyboard with gusto, yesterday they weren’t.