one shots

stitches - song oneshot

based on the song stitches by shawn mendes

this is just something I thought of- it may not exactly match the meaning of the song but this is sort of my interpretation.

***This is a really serious topic and I don't mean to romanticize it or offend anyone in any way.***

WARNING: SELF HARM AND VERBAL ABUSE TRIGGER - THIS IS ALSO KIND OF GRAPHIC SO PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE

calum's pov:

I thought I had been hurt before.
All those other times when my ex-girlfriend had made comments about me- they were nothing.

but no one's ever left me this sore.
All I ever got from her- was stones attached to my ankles, weighing me down with a heavier bear.

your words cut deeper than a knife.
Stupid. Ugly. Fat.

now I need someone to breathe me back to life.
I was hanging on by just a thread. The reason? Her. The reason I was still here? Her. She kept me going but dragged me down at the same time.

got a feeling that I'm going under, but I know that I'll make it out alive.
I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

I heard the door of my shared apartment open and the clicking of heels on the kitchen tile, followed by heavier footsteps. I heard giggling and slurred words exchanged between a male and my girlfriend. She was drunk again. I tried to prepare myself for the abuse about to come but it was no use. They stumbled into the living room, where I was sat in an armchair.

if I quit calling you my lover, move on,
I still loved her. I hadn't really felt love before now, and even though this may not be the best love, it was still love, wasn't it?

you watch me bleed until I can't breathe, I'm shaking, falling into my knees,
"Oh, it's just you." She groaned. "Who is this?" The guy asked. "Ignore him. He's too dumb to figure out what's going on. Leave, fatass." She told me. I bit my lip. It was only like this when she was drunk- which was quite a lot. "I said leave! I don't even love you! GET OUT!" She screamed. I shut my eyes tightly and ran out of the living room and into the bathroom near the kitchen.

and now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches.
I fumbled around in the bathroom looking for my razor blades. I swore as I dropped them. I bent down and picked them up, sat on the toilet lid and yanked up my sleeve, revealing all those other times when she had said mean things to me. I added another time to the physical list I kept on my forearm.

I'm tripping over myself, aching, begging you to come help.
I bit my lip at the stinging sensation, but it was nothing compared to the insults I got. I begged to God that she would sober up, and realize what she did, what she made me feel like I had to do.

and now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches.
I made several more cuts along my arm, watching my blood drip onto the floor.

like a moth drawn to a flame, oh you lured me in and I couldn't sense the pain,
She was so sweet when she wasn't drunk, but everyone has a dark side. She pointed out everything wrong with me while on her dark side.

Your bitter heart, cold to the touch, now I'm gonna reap what I sow, I'm left seeing red on my own.
I looked down at my wrists, now covered in blood.

got a feeling that I'm going under, but I know that I'll make it out alive,
I started to feel light headed. I had lost so much blood the room started to spin.

If I quit calling you my lover, move on.
If I just stopped loving her, I wouldn't be on the bathroom floor, trying to cover my wrists in gauze.

you watch me bleed until I can't breath, I'm shaking.
I bit my lip before letting out a sob.

falling onto my knees, now that's without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches
I couldn't get the bleeding to stop.

I'm tripping over myself, aching, begging you to come help. Now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches.
I thought I had maybe hit a vein this time, but I didn't mean to. Not when I just figured out that it was her. It was her fault.

needle in the thread, gotta get you out of my head,
I needed to get out of here. I needed to be away from her. This wasn't love. This was abuse.

needle in the thread, gonna wind up dead,
I grabbed my phone, still trying to stop the bleeding from my wrists.

needle in the thread, gotta get you out of my head,
I felt myself getting weaker.

needle in the thread, gonna wind up dead,
I called my friend, told him to come pick me up.

needle in the thread, gotta get you out of my head,
Part of me wanted to stay, because I knew that tomorrow she would regret it.

needle in the thread, gonna wind up dead,
I looked down at my still bleeding arms and told myself no. I couldn't take it anymore, if I did, I would end up dead.

needle in the thread, gotta get you out of my head, get you out of my head.
She didn't love me, why couldn't I accept that?

you watch me bleed until I can't breathe, I'm shaking, falling onto my knees. Now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches.
My friend opened the bathroom door and realized what happened. She crouched down over me and hurriedly tried to stop the bleeding like I had done. It was no use.

I'm tripping over myself, aching, begging you to come help, now that I'm without you kisses, I'll be needing stitches.
I saw my friend calling an ambulance. It was here within minutes, but I knew I didn't have long.

now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches,
She wasn't going to be there to make it better in the morning, so I'd need stitches.

now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches.

A/N: so how was it? sorry if it wasn't very good and yeah