Hide's final thoughts

Gosh, I didn't think it could end like this.

I'm dying. Is it really possible? I made a promess. I swore to Kaneki I would have been there for him. Everytime.

But now my eyes can see no more. I feel cold. Strange. Everything around me is on fire. But I feel cold. The only heat I can sense comes from my friend's arms.

In the end this is the only thing I can do: dying on Kaneki's lap. Like a child. Like an idiot who always troubles his friend. Like a dumb who dares give other pain to someone that has already suffered too much.

Strange.

Now everything is over. I feel cold no more. I feel fine. I just.......remember something. Some pictures come across my mind. It's like turning back in time.

"Do you wanna be my friend?"

Yeah. That's what I said.

But I did wrong. I made mistakes. I was so lonely that I couldn't let him be.

I was so.....envious.

No. That's not the right word.

I was afraid. Afraid that he had left me behind. So afraid of being forgotten that I desperately tried to reach that world which seemed so far from me.

And I did wrong again.

Too obstinated of following you to understand you were protecting me. Too afraid of losing you. My only family, the best I could ever wish for.

And now you are the one who's losing me. Death is getting closer and I'm not able to talk to you. Not able to say all these things. Not able to say that I love you and you are the best friend I have ever had.

"Let's go home Kaneki."

It's the only thing my mouth turn out to say. And then darkness approach.

Nothing in front of my eyes. Nothing but pitch black.

A whisper in my ear: "Let's go home Hide"

I can leave now. I can go in peace.

I'm sorry my dear friend. I left you alone again.

The one who was going away wasn't you.

It was me.

I'm sorry Kaneki. But thank you for have been my family.

Goodbye.