Seen

I woke up to the best smell you could possibly imagine. Pancakes. Mmmmm. I love pancakes. Wait, no one had cooked breakfast in my house since...and then the previous night all came rushing back to me. I padded downstairs. I walked into the kitchen to witness something I never would have dreamed of. Carter and Michael where rushing around our kitchen (which now looked like a horror movie crime scene), attempting to cook, in aprons. 

"Umm, hi guys,"

Michael kept flipping pancakes, but Carter spun around.

"O. Hi. Michael said you like pancakes?"

"Uh, yeah, I do." I said, still extremely confused.

"Good. They're almost done. I'll urn, set the table."

"No, I can do it. You did all this." Carter looked like he was going to object, but he didn't stop me as I turned to the kitchen entryway. I pulled out six plates before realizing my mistake. I slid one back into the cupboard.

"Are Mom and Dad eating with us?" I called back into the kitchen.

"No, they're...busy." Michael called back, tentatively. I got the impression there was something he was leaving out, but I didn't say anything. I put two more plates back and finished setting everything up just as Carter walked through the archway with a stack of pancakes followed by Michael with syrup, fruit, and butter.

"So, kiddo, how's you manage to get into Valerid's room yesterday?" Michael asked, a little to eagerly?

"What do you mean?" Carter asked?

"It's on the second story. You're not elling me you jumped."

"Oh, that," Carter said sheepishly. "Ladder."

There was an awkward silence. I took a deep breath before wearily saying, "So, is why did you guys do this?"  I kept my eyes on my plate, pushing some strawberries around with my fork. I didn't want to sound ungrateful, but something didn't seem right about all this. I quickly popped pancake into my mouth for something to do.

Carter turned a rather odd shade of green while Michael cleared his throat.

"The police tracked down the girl they saw boarding the plane. It wasn't Lilly. It was just some nine year old that looks a lit like her."

I stopped mid-chew. The boys were eyeing me cautiously, looking unsure. I swallowed and took a large swig of water.

"Are they sure?" was all I could think of saying.

"Yes. Mom and Dad are with the cops now. They're pretty angry." What shocked me the most was that I wasn't surprised. I must have subconsciously thought something similar.  Somewhere along the way I had given up hope without even realizing it. That didn't make hearing it out load any less horrible. It had been four months since she dissapeared, and we had gotten nowhere. I had to face the idea that she might be...gone. Forever. It was clear that Carter and Michael were waiting for me to say something.

Suddenly our average sized kitchen seemed tiny, sufforcationg. Michael's slight intake and outtake of breath seemed louder then an exhausted dog's panting. Carter's staring seemed like a laser threatening two eye sized holes in me.

"I'm going on a walk," I blurted. I didn't know if they heard me, but I honestly didn't care. I knocked over my chair in my haste to get out of the rapidly shrinking kitchen. It wasn't until I stumbled over our welcome mat and nearly fell that I noticed that I was running. I didn't have a destination or a purpose, I just ran. Houses, streets, other things whirred past me, but I didn't absorb what they were or where I was going. It really didn't matter in the slightest.