Solitude [On Hold]

Chapter 5

Dearest diary,

It is true that memories come back to haunt you. I just only wish the term was not true.

I sat in silence with Damon as He drank his drink. He has drank about half a bottle of some type of alcohol and he hasn't stopped since. He's been trying to get me to talk to him about what happened but has given up for almost a week now and I'm glad he has. They don't know I had been compelled and it seemed they weren't caring either.

Elena has been more caring with me than she had ever been and it was hard to think she had been told to. I heard her and Bonnie, when I was wanting to speak to Elena in her room, discussing how showing more affection towards me would help to uncover the truth of what happened. It destroyed me. Elena had to be told to show affection towards me, she didn't think of it herself, but Elena was probably feeling depressed herself for what happened with her.

"Are you up for a couple rounds together?" Damon asks from his seat.

I stare at him and say, "I had his hallucination of you and Elena together Damon, it hurt to see you two not caring that I was tied to a chair. But then the image went away and I realized I was going insane in that room all by myself. Do you understand where I am going with this?"

"That's why a couple rounds with me will brush away that guilt either is feeling. Look, Elena wasn't giving up on you," he said, ice blue eyes meeting mine.

I stood up from my chair and gasped in shock. "You're lying Damon, your eyes never meet mine when you truly want me to believe something. I can't believe this!"

I walk to the door but soft hands wrap around my stomach. His hands stay there and he presses me back on his chest. I close my eyes, placing my hands atop his. His lips are pressed on my neck and they trail down to my collarbone. I raise my right hand and place it at the nape of his neck, keeping his lips right where it felt pleasurable.

"I don't want you to be angry at me, I couldn't live with myself," he murmurs against my shoulder.

I turn around in his grasp and wrap my arms around his neck. My head moves upwards and he leans downwards, our lips meeting halfway and moving against each others'. We haven't done this in such a long time and I felt better that he was showing me what his true intentions were.

His lips pulled away from mine and he stared at me. "Tell me what happened when you were taken."

"I was taken to an abandoned home and was help captive by two men who were trying to get Elena back."

The words slipped out of my mouth so easily and I pushed away quickly from Damon. I stared at him with tears and my heart ached by the sudden intrusion I felt. He was about to say something when my hand suddenly came in contact with his left cheek. He didn't look at me until a few seconds after.

"You promised, Damon. You promised me compulsion would not be used on me, why would you deceive me?" I asked in tears.

"I had to know what you weren't telling us, Tessa, if someone is after Elena we have to protect her. We have to make sure she's okay."

I stare at him and look down. It's always going to be about Elena, It will never stop. Elena will always be their main priority, they have not any time to worry about me and I am just confused as to why. Did Damon not care for me?

"I have to go," I say still not meeting his eyes.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"You already compelled me," I say not meeting his sight.

"I'm sorry."

He grabs my chin and softly pulls my head up so I can meet his sight. I do so and he brings his head down to meet me. His lips brush lightly on mine and I smile. Yeah, it's been too long since we've done this. His lips press against mine and I feel butterflies forming inside my stomach once more.