I'm walking home but I have to make a stop before I get there.
The place is near my favourite music shop on the corner of Parkwest Rd. I turn the corner and go behind the small strip mall, taking a seat on my backpack. After waiting for a few minutes I pull my phone out of my pocket and quickly text the person that I'm supposed to be meeting.
"Hey where are you dude I'm here," I send. I met this person in a chat room online, so I'm shaking a bit.
A few minutes pass and they still aren't here. I try texting again but my phone sends me a message that says "Your message could not be sent. Please try again later." I press the send button repeatedly.. I could've sworn that I had the right number.. I'm worried now. I've heard all of those horrible stories about people who get gangbanged and shit.. I then hear footsteps. "Who's there?" I half yell, my voice cracking with anxiety.
There's no response.
I get up and sling my bag over my shoulder; slowly making my way towards the corner of the building. I can hear shaky breathing nearby. This person is clearly as nervous as I am. I remember what they taught me in ROTC, staying close against the wall as I get ready to pin whoever the hell this is against the wall. "Look for pressure points," I mumble quietly. After turning the corner and quickly pinning the lanky boy against the wall, I let go after I see that he's unarmed. His face looks strangely feminine, but I ignore it. "H-hey dude, chill out.. I'm just here to give you what you asked for," He says in a soothing voice. "I'm just as nervous as you are, man. I thought you were a rapist or something." I state with a chuckle, stepping back. We have a short conversation and he hands me the bag. After shaking hands we head off in different directions. The thought of this guy keeps going through my head. Unruly locks of dark black hair that fell across his steel grey eyes, broad jaw, and small gauge earrings. He was also dressed like any other guy out there; sagged jeans, a graphic tee, skate shoes. There was something about this guy though. He seemed feminine. Sort of like one of those transgender guys you know? He passed pretty well, I mean he seemed like a normal dude. The thought is soon forgotten after I put my earbuds in.
After I get home I set my stuff down and open the bag. All of the stuff that I asked for is in there, along with a note. "Be careful. - Pax." I put it to the side, opening the small plastic bag that was at the bottom of the brown paper sack. The aroma of the green plant fills my nostrils as I inhale deeply. A smile on my face, I dig around for my pipe.
I'm now relaxed, in a sedated state. Music is playing softly in the background, and I feel as though nothing could be better. I've been pretty stressed lately, but all of that melts away once I set this small green plant aflame and inhale its welcoming scent. This isn't enough. I stumble over to the brown bag, opening the second plastic bag. I put a small square on my tongue, feeling it dissolve slowly. Everything starts to move in rhythm with the music. I feel warm inside and I relax instantly. I'm in my own world. Soon everything starts to distort and change colour. I look down at my hands and see small spirals swirling upon my pale flesh and it looks as though my hand is getting further away even though I'm not moving it. I space out as I see progressively weirder things as my trip continues.
The effects start to wear off, and I hide the brown bag in my cabinet, saving the rest for some other time. Thoughts are swimming throughout my head and I feel the need to sit. My body is still weak from the trip, and I have a throbbing headache. The happiness that I felt for that short couple of hours is gone now. The colour that I saw soon fades away, and I'm by myself once again. I feel comfort while running my fingers through my hair as I cry silently. Stumbling to my bedroom, I lay down in bed. The thoughts won't go away, and I can't fall asleep. These thoughts aren't the most pleasant. They're thoughts of what I've done wrong.. Who I've hurt, what I've lost, questions that I can't answer. "What's wrong with me?" I whisper, curling up in a ball. I don't know who I am, what I am, or even why I'm here. I find comfort in the thought that I only have a few more years until I'll be gone, so I wipe my tears away and head to the bathroom. I take a good look in the mirror, examining my extremely light blue eyes, tracing over the shape of them with my finger. I then move down to my nose, feeling the small piercing before sliding my finger down to my lips. I trace over my lips carefully before stepping back to take a look at my hair. It's curly and thrown askew about my head, reminding me of a sheep. I laugh softly and pet my hair, taking in its soft texture. I have slight eye bags from lack of sleep, but I admire them. I remove my shirt and look at what should be a flat chest. I'm wearing an ill-fitting sports bra, using it to help compress my chest. I look away quickly, for my lack of a normal flat chest has always annoyed me. I trace over my collarbone, now extremely evident since I've been working out. My broad shoulders and thick neck muscles bulge as I flex. I've always loved my body, and looking in the mirror like this makes me feel better. I've developed a sort of self-love. I put my shirt back on and lay in bed, checking the clock. 1:00 AM, it states. I think about what it would be like to be a clock; counting every second of every day, keeping track of how many seconds have gone by. I start to count the seconds in my head, getting all the way to 2,345 before falling asleep.
I don't really know what this was. - rat
