You believe there's something else
To relieve your emptiness
And you dream about yourself
And you bleed and breathe the air
And it's on and on
I just kinda died for you
You just kinda stared at me
I wrote these at a confusing time, I guess. Did I mean these about myself? Probably not. Did it sound more and more like I wrote it about myself? Yes... Unfortunately so. I've started drinking so much more after me and Veruca Salt split cause she cheated on me, it affected me so fucking much when I know it shouldn't have. Ever since me and Jennifer got divorced... the depression has just compounded into this giant block of worry and fear. I don't like it nor do I want to think like this but, I'm feeling very suicidal at the moment.
"Hey Dave, come out and party with us tonight man."
"Nah man, don't feel like it..."
"Yes you do. You just don't wanna go near any girls. Me and you BOTH know this."
"Whatever. Fine I'll come. I'm not getting it on with anyone though, I don't care what you say."
"Alright man, whatever." Taylor said flopping his hand in frustration. I hate when Taylor gets me to go to parties, it pisses me off to no end cause he knows I'm not ready to enter a relationship at all at the moment, let alone have sex with anyone. But I probably need a little loving... I guess... Taylor could be right.
I got up and raided the fridge after he grabbed a beer and dived on to the couch. Hmmn... Salad? Nah. Left over hamburger? Nah, it'll be soggy. Steak? Fuck yes! Great when it's a day old and cold. I grabbed my steak and sat next to Taylor, lighting up a cigarette and taking a long drag. I sat my feet up on the table and looked at the TV. Great... Fucking M*A*S*H... Taylor has an obsession with it. He wishes he was Hawkeye or something.
"Why's this shit on?"
"Cause I like it."
"It's my house. My TV."
"Fine. What else is on..."
"I don't know... let's watch some cartoons or some shit... I don't know?
"Yeah whatever."
Taylor switched it to the cartoon channel, I don't know what the hell it's called. Taylor walked out and went into the bathroom. I knew what he was about to do. Heroin. That fucking ugly discusting bullshit drug that killed Kurt for fuck's sake. I miss Kurt, and I don't want to miss Taylor as well. I'm always worried about Taylor, cause he's my bro.
Taylor came stumbling back, watching me watching him. He looked sorry in his eyes, and I knew he hated it... But there's not much you can do to get a grown man to stop. I sometimes thought about doing shit like that, but in the end it isn't worth it. Seen too many people die cause of it. Don't wanna see any more. Taylor was staring blankly into the TV, Popeye was on. I put my head back and closed my eyes, drifting off with a steak in me' lap.
"Hay motherfuckers!"
"Wha? Oh shit Chris hey man."
"Hey Dave, you're coming to Nate's party tonight yeah? there'll be a lotta pussay!"
"I now know why they call you 'Shifty' man... You're fucked."
"Haha nah just horny." Chris giggled. It's around about 6, so I guess it's time to get ready for this stupid party thing that the guys want me to fucking go to. I got up and moaped up to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I grabbed a pair of black skinnies, and a black shirt and ran a comb though it... I like it better short, it shows my face shape off more. I walked back down stairs to see Chris and Taylor waiting for me on the couch to go to Nate's place.
Listening to: 180 Degrees- NOFX, Aurora- Foo Fighters & (The Return Of) The Electric Horseman- Powderfinger
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This Is A Call: A Dave Grohl Fanfiction
RandomDave is on a tumultuous downward spiral leading to drugs and destruction as a failed flame and unexpected attractions fall at his every step, possibly meeting the girl (or guy ;) of his dreams.
