Being Harry Styles' Beard

chapter two

"Woah, Harry wait a second." I set down my North face backpack against a wall next to my luggage and looked at him. For some reason he looks ashamed. But he shouldn't be ashamed for his feelings. I'm so confused right now and Harry's bluntness doesn't help at all.

"Ugh.. I'm sorry." He sits back down on the end of the bed and to the position he was before.

"Harry. What are you apologizing for?" I sit down next to him looking at him. There's a silence, as if he's searching for the answer in his head, until he finally answers my question and looks at me.

"I don't really know. I just feel like it's so wrong. That's what everyone has made it out to be."

"Harry, I'm so confused and I really want to help you. So do you mind.. I don't know. Uhm.. starting from the beginning?" I struggle with my words because I can see that Harry is not himself and I don't want to say anything wrong but I finally form a sentence. He takes a deep breath and starts explaining himself.

"Well. When I first saw Louis I immediately liked him. There was no doubting it. We were best friends. And I love all the guys, I do. But Louis and me just had the strongest bond. And I found myself getting jealous over the stupidest things. Him talking about girls in interviews or pretty much anything, even him talking to the guys. So I finally told him and he told me that he felt the same way. We hadn't told management that we were together because we didn't think it would matter. So, I know you have probably seen this video, which I got in deep deep trouble for after it was leaked, a fan asked me if we were together and I would never lie to a fan because I love them and they deserve the honest truth. So I told her yes, because I mean, we were together! Then when someone else asked me who was my first crush I answered truthfully. (AN: OMG VIDEO ABOVE I MISS THIS IS HE WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SMILE OMG SO CUTE WOW) Which was also wrong according to management. They told Louis and I that we couldn't be together and we definitely couldn't tell the public. It was so hard, Clara. Acting like I didn't love him at interviews and in public, and I still do. We aren't allowed to tweet eachother, be alone in public together or anything. It sucks. And we honestly try so hard during interviews and in public to not show affection towards each other but it's just so hard when you love someone so much. And the fans caught onto it and now there's this thing, Larry Stylinson. Louis and I love it. It's so sweet how the fans know us so well and can see our love for each other. Even though they are forcing Louis to date this Eleanor girl. And they force me to find a new 'girlfriend' every year. I don't really understand why us being together is so bad.. The guys know and they accept us. Why can't management just accept it and let us be our true selves, thats what the fans would want, I think, to be our true selves so we could be happy. Louis and I have thought about sneaking it to the public but management is so cruel and so strict and they won't let anything by them. They won't even let us sit next to eachother during award shows or anything. It's so frustrating. Then they made me' move out' when Lou and I had a flat together and we were so happy Clare. Is it so bad that I just want to be happy? Ugh, management is just a bunch of crooks! I hate them!" At this point Harry was crying. He started to sob and he couldn't even go on. I didn't see him cry very often but seeing my best friend like this broke my heart.

I immediately grasped him in a tight hug and let him cry into my shoulder. Once his breathing was back to normal and he was done crying I pulled him back to look at him.

"I am so sorry Harry. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. And you do deserve to be happy. And you do deserve to just be your true self. And you definitely should not be apologizing for being who you are! I don't ever want to hear you apologize for your feelings ever again. Whether it's to management or anyone."

"So you're not freaked out that I'm gay, right?" He asks me sniffling a bit and smiling gently, joking with me, I laugh a little to lighten the mood while he wipes his tears away.