The Contest (Johnnie Guilbert fanfic)

Chapter One

A/N: Please note this story is made out of complete randomness so if it's terrible, don't judge. Just enjoy. If you like it, let me know in the comments and vote! And if you don't like it.. oh whale xD IT'S ALL FOR FUN. And it will go by kinda slowish.. so be patient. Other than that, enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

JOHNNIE'S POV

"Johnnie!" I heard a soft, feminine voice shout my name in horror which instantly caused me to awaken.

Groaning, my eyes were met with big green orbs. "Hi Alex Door-man,"

I smirked at how Alex's face turned to annoyance but smiled at the same time. "I'm going to murder you! It's DOOR-MAE."

I laughed silently to myself. Obviously I knew how to say her last name, I wasn't a dumbass. I remembered the first time I noticed her on Twitter, and the confusion I had with her last name. It annoyed the hell out of me not knowing how to pronounce it. I called her a doorman for awhile...

No wonder she hated me.

Rubbing my groggy eyes, I yawned loudly. "M'kay, have fun with that." My nose scrunched up at the horrendous smell after those words left my mouth. Fuck, I need to brush my teeth! Stupid, morning breath.

I realized Alex needed something, so I randomly slapped her on the wrist.

"OW!" She wailed, slapping me back.

The sound caused my eyes to widen. She must be overreacting, I didn't slap her THAT hard. It was barely even a slap. Even the slap she gave me was harder than the one I gave her.

What a weak doorman.

Avoiding her eyes, I stuffed my head into my pillow. I didn't want her to smell my terrible breath. She didn't deserve that punishment. Plus, I would die of embarrassment.

"What do you want?" I mumbled into the pillow.

I could sense her rolling her eyes even though I couldn't see her. "Why are you in your pillow? And Bryan told me to wake you up. Apparently, waking you up is like waking up Satan."

Of course Bryan would say that. I'm going to kick his ass later.

"Questions later Doorman, let me sleep!" I ignored her Bryan comment, resuming my beauty sleep. Well, it wasn't exactly beauty. I couldn't breathe...

Maybe the pillow was Satan.

***

"JOHNNIE GET THE HELL OUT OF BED OR SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR NONEXISTENT DICK!" Alex threatened.

My eyes widened, "No, not little Johnnie!" I managed to get out of bed quickly, leaving the bed sheets in a mess.

I didn't want a girl to cut off my dick. Not today.

"I'm up..." I trailed, running my hands through my hair. It probably looked like shit right now, but I didn't care. As Damon Fizzy would say... messy hair don't care!

Once I entered the living room, I spotted Bryan and Jordan sitting down on the sofa. They all looked at me in surprise, switching their eyes back to Alex's.

"The dick threat actually worked?" Jordan grinned, filled with amusement. His feet were currently spread out on the table like he was at home. Even though we were all at a hotel in Florida, I didn't appreciate his feet on the table.

Oh god, I sounded like Bryan there for a second. I think I need to puke.

Alex smiled back at him, patting my head. "Yup, look he's all good as new." I felt her hands tug on my arms, dragging me to the closest chair. Is this what being a doll was like?

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up, I don't like you Alex." That was such a lie... I loved her.

"That's not what you said last night though," She winked at my comment, causing Bryan and Jordan to make weird 'ohhh you just got burned' noises.

I noticed a minute passed, and no words came out from my mouth. Shit. What do I say?

Bryan laughed at my facial expression. "Look, he's so stunned. Poor kid, he first got laid in his life."

I scoffed, "At least I lost my virginity before you did." Oh yeah, that's going to teach Bryan!

His face turned a slight pinkish color. Poor guy, he was so going to go after me later. And not in the nice way, either.

Jordan was on the edge of turning red with laughter. He clutched his stomach with his hands, "Stop! Can't---breathe."

Alex hesitantly rubbed his stomach, sitting down on his side of the sofa.

What the fuck? She was giving him a belly rub. How does that help with anything? Bryan shared the same look as I did, staring dramatically in confusion.

I raised an eyebrow at her, questioning the action. She mouthed something saying it will help him. I've never heard of this way to cure neverending laughter...

For a second, Jordan immediately stopped laughing. He widened his eyes, gaping at Alex. "Are you Jesus?"

In response, she groaned. "I'm not answering this question, Sweeto."

While they both argued about Jesus, I decided to head to the kitchen. Bryan followed along, copying me. I was hungry, so I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet.

Bryan took the Cocoa Puffs from the counter, and tossed them inside the bowl I set on the table. I smiled. He was actually helping me with something! This rarely happened.

I opened the fridge, hunting for milk. The fridge was filled with leftovers from the previous days, and the only drink we had was beer. Were my eyes deceiving me or was there really no milk?

I whined."Bryan, where's the milk?"

Bryan laughed at my reaction, "It's all gone, you're going to have to eat it plain."

Plain cereal? No. No. No.

No.

That will not do. I smirked evilly to myself, grabbing the Budlight from the fridge. This caused Bryan's eyes to grow about the size of my dick. Yep, that's how big his eyes were.

He started yelling, asking me what the hell I was doing.

I ignored him, pouring the opened can of Budlight into the bowl filled with Cocoa Puffs. Time to taste the awesomeness. I took a spoon, and quickly scooped into the bowl.

I was so going to regret this... it was going to taste terrible. I decided to let my mouth be the judge of that before I swallowed.

Bryan was shaking his head, grabbing the beer can from me. He smacked me with it on the head, receiving a loud yelp from me.

Surprisingly, it actually didn't taste that bad. I smiled proudly to myself. I knew I was somewhat successful in cooking! My mom would be so proud of me. I should tell her all about this.

The realization of beer being used in this situation came to me. Facepalm. Sometimes I forget I'm 17 years old...

"It doesn't taste bad, Bwyan." I muffled, my mouth full.

The only thing he could say was, "I knew you were coocoo for cocoa puffs, but I didn't think you would be this psychotic."

He had that part right.