Thoughts of a random teen

Alone

I'm tired of feeling as though I am alone in the world when I have family and friends. But they aren't there. No one is. I'm tired of the look of disappointment and anger in the eyes of the people in supposed to go to.

I feel as if I'm drowning in a hole of sadness that ive created. No one can pull me out.

I feel worthless, useless, like a failure. Like I'm nothing but a waste of space. I need someone anyone to save me but there are no heroes coming with there caps to rescue me.

My family use me. They get what they need when they need it and then I'm tossed aside.everything I do is wrong. I get in the way.

I dont want anyone at the same time. I'm twisted aren't I? Wanting something but pushing it away when I get it. I complain to one of my friends and he wants to help. But he wants me too and I can't handle it. I'm not capable of loving my self much less others. Who wants me? Why would you even?

I cant enjoy anything nothing makes me happy. I get bored easily and then that turns into darkness and I'm filled with my self hate and doubt.

I need an escape.

I need to get away.

I cant find one. I refuse death. My mother would never want that from me. I wish to disappear and not exist that way I don't have to face these problems swelling with in me. These fights in having with myself. The fights that I'm having with others.

no one understands. The don't see what in going through.

but there I am again. Someone wants to understand but I cant because I'm broken and I feel as though if they try to hold on to my broken pieces surely I will cause them more pain then what these little pieces of me are worth.