Anything to keep you [n.h + h.s]

Chapter 21

By the time I reach my house I've stumbled the last 500 meters, as I've been sobbing too much to be able to walk properly. I've been getting a lot of weird looks but I haven't really cared. I open the door with a sob and slam it behind me, not caring about kicking my shoes off or anything. I just run straight up to my room. Again I slam the door shut.

Why I am this upset about losing my first kiss to someone that is not Niall, I don't really know. But I've always been sensitive and this just feels so weird. I've always pictured my first kiss being perfect. It would be Niall's beautiful lips pressed to mine and it was supposed to be just wonderful. Instead I got a kiss from Luke and I just wish I could go back in time. Go back in time and stop him.

It's not like I find Luke repulsive or anything. Luke is a great guy and he's very attractive but all I want from him is friendship.

My bed is soft and nice to fall on to. I instantly reach for my pillow and hug it to my chest as I brokenly sob. I feel so silly. I'm 18 years old. I shouldn't cry. This is all so stupid, but I can't stop crying. It's just impossible.

My door creaks open and Ashton peeks inside.

"Harry! Oh my god! What's happened?" he worriedly asks and rushes over to me. When he pulls me in to his chest I feel so small. I feel like the 15 year old who lost his best friend. I continue to cry while I'm in Ashton's arms.

"Harry. What's happened?" he asks again and I take a shaky deep breath. I need to be calm.

"I, i-it's so s-silly Ash." I whimper out and hide my face in his shirt. I keep attempting to take deep breaths, they come out a bit shaky but nonetheless I begin to calm down a bit. I lean my head against Ashton's chest, listening to his heartbeat and just feeling his chest move as he breathes.

"Tell me Haz." he says as he cards his fingers through my hair. Everything soothes me and at last I'm not crying anymore.

"Luke kissed me." I tell him.

"And I'm being a total baby about it. I'm such a baby, Ashton. Julia was right when she said I'm a three year old. I get so upset over things that really aren't that big of a deal. I'm just so, I'm just a three year old. Just like she said." I feel like I might start crying again. I just feel so horrible. Why can't things ever be the way I want them to be?

"You're not being a baby. We're all humans Harry and we have different feelings and views of different moments in life. Some people aren't as sensitive as others and you just happen to be a sensitive soul. You are such a nice person Harry, and I know that you've always imagined your first kiss to be with Niall. I understand that you're upset. Never let her words get to you. She doesn't know you. Plus she's just a whiny little psycho bitch." the last parts lures out a laugh from me. I relax into Ashton and close my eyes.

"How come you always know what to say?" I ask softly before emitting a yawn.

"I'm secretly Dr Phil." his statement makes me laugh even more.

"You have too much hair to be Dr Phil though." I point out.

"It's a wig. Don't tell Gemma. She loves my hair." I roll my eyes but let a small quiet giggle.

All of a sudden I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket. It's not one of those short buzz that indicates a text. I pull the phone out of my pocket and Calum's face is all over the screen.

"Hi." I answer the phone call. Ashton glances down at me and I shoot him a smile.

"Harry! I'm sorry I haven't called sooner, it kind of got messy. How are you holding up? What happened?" He rushes out his words and he sounds so concerned. Although he could be concerned for Luke's sake.