Can you save me?

Part 12

I couldn't understand what he meant.

- Do I pity you? Do you feel that?

His eyes grew thinner while he was staring at me.

- I guess so. I heard that you came from a happy family, your parents loved you and they were proud of you. You were given all the love and care.

I shrugged.

- And you think that I have no idea what is it like to be an outsider, to be lonely.

- You don't. - Loki cut immediately.

- I do. At least loneliness is not a stranger to me.

Loki made an impatient move with his hand as if he wanted to make me quiet.

- Whatever.

His rude way of honesty didn't surprise me much after that scene at the dining hall, but it always gave me a little pain. I understood why he was full of pain, disappointment and loss of trust, but I thought that he was much stronger than that.

- How can you say you love me? You don't even know me. - Loki asked suddenly.

This time it was me who was smirking. Did he really think that he could catch me? I used to be shy, I admitted, but since we had spent half a day, closed together, and I could have the experience of looking into his eyes without blushing, I became much stronger.

- Try me.

Within a moment Loki turned into his jotun form. His skin was dark sea blue, his eyes were glowing blood red. His forehead was marked by straight scars that continued along his his cheeks. He didn't smile or smirk, there was no emotions on his face.

I wanted to laugh at his idea of trying to scare me this way but I didn't want to hurt him or to make him believe that I found his look or him ridiculous.

- Do you really think you can frighten me with your frost giant form? - I said softly.

He smirked at me now, with a little tension on his lips.

- Can I?

My voice became a little breathless and I tried to stay calm though I was full of emotions trying to explode out of me.

- No, you can't. I have already seen you in this form. And you are the same beautiful for me.

He looked at me with disbelief. I understood him as in Asgard frost giants were considered to be ugly and disgusting. And he was one of them after all, even though he wore his asgardian form since Odin brought him into the palace as a little baby.

- Don't lie to me. - he demanded but this time with less anger.

I didn't reply. I knew that no words could convince him.

I stepped closer to Loki, looking deeply into his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and leaned slowly closer to him. It felt so amazing and soothing to touch him. I had been dreaming about it for such a long time and now I could do it. I was shivering with desire and I didn't even try to hide it. Now I wanted him to know and feel how I felt for him.

His body felt a little cold, but it gave me a happy sense to feel his flesh under my fingers. He didn't move, he didn't touch me, but I felt his growing anticipation. When I kissed his cold lips softly, watching him still, he moaned a little. His mouth remained motionless for a second but then his lips were looking for mine and his eyes were glowing at me with dangerous radiance. His long kiss was so tender and soft, it made me shiver deep down my bones and I had to close my eyes because his looking at me blinded me mentally and physically, just like his kiss.

Suddenly Loki pulled away from me and his eyes looked cold again. As if he had regretted our kiss... I was deeply hurt but I tried hard not to show it to him.

- Why don't you let me love you?

I didn't want to ask such a question but it came out of me as a surprise.

He turned his back on me. I guessed that he was ashamed of himself for kissing me back and showing some tenderness towards me that he didn't want to or planned to.

- I don't want your love, I don't need it.

I swallowed hard, trying to stay as calm as possible, fighting my tears in my eyes and in my throat.

- I am sorry to hear that. And I am sorry for troubling you with my useless emotions. - I could moan these words very hard.

Loki turned back to me. He was in his Asgardian form again and his glowing blue eyes showed some regret - that disappeared within a few seconds.

- I am sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.

- That is all right.

- Would you return to the palace with me? - Loki asked me on a really polite voice.

I looked at him, surprised. What was going on again? What kind of game was he playing?

- Why do you want it? I don't understand you.

His lips formed a little smile as if my question had amused him.

- My mother misses you. And your friends too.

I didn't reply that I didn't think I still had friends. So I only nodded.

- For your mother's sake.