Lyra

Chapter 4 Holding You To It

I remember a few things.

Pavement.

Tiles.

Unlocking sound.

Carpet.

Bed.

I felt a blanket being wrapped around my shoulders, Eve's hand never let go of mine until I broke. I curled in on myself, silent sobs racking my body. Salty tears poured black down my cheeks, mixing in with my makeup. My hands raking themselves through my hair as my body heaved. My heart hammered unsteady beats into my chest; a cold hand slowly reached around it and then grasped it firmly with everything it had, digging icing nails through its walls. I gasped for air.

I hadn't been paying attention but Eve had wrapped herself around me, creating a personal shield. Too bad the threat was under my skin instead of outside my body. She sat me sideways between her legs, crossing her ankles. I grabbed the fabric of her shirt harder as the waves of panic threatened to drown me. I wished they would hurry up and do it, I'd rather drown quickly then come up to breathe just enough air, before being dragged back under. I pressed my face into her body, it should have been awkward but I was too hysterical to notice, and Eve was too concerned to mention it.

Eve smoothed my hair down, again and again, until I started to come back to the real world. I was a mess, not even a hot one. Just a mess. Slowly the ghost hands stopped bruising my skin, the fabric was no longer tied into my mouth, the weight pinning me to the ground had been lifted off. I breathed evenly for the first time in hours. Or what felt like hours, I wasn't sure how much time had passed. It took another ten minutes of breathing evenly to leave Eve's lap.

What had I done? I hadn't been able to suppress the overwhelming panic. It had been over three years; I needed to get a grip on myself. I shouldn't still be freaking out about this, I should be fine. I should realise it was long done with and I was fine. Everything was fine. I hid my face as Eve cleared her throat. I waited for her to start asking questions, but she didn't, she got up quietly and I heard her moving around in what I assumed was the kitchen. I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders trying to keep out the cold; I hadn't noticed the heat Eve gave off until she was gone. Seconds, minutes, or possibly hours later, Eve came back with a cup of tea.

"Here." She said softly, as if speaking to a child. I grasped it tightly in my hands letting the heat sink down into my bones. I shuddered lightly as I took a sip. Eve sat down beside me, pressing her shoulder into mine. It'd be ridiculous to move away from her after the way I had sat on her for the last who knows how long.

"What- what time is it?" I asked, my voice cracking as it came out.

"It's a little past eleven." I looked at her in shock. Had I really been out of it for that long? Cass was probably freaking out right now; I had promised her I'd be back by seven for dinner. I groaned, searching for my phone.

"Right here. Don't worry they know where you are, I texted them for you if that's okay. They were blowing up your phone." Eve held my cell phone out to me. I scrolled through the messages and sure enough that's exact what she had done. I asked Eve what room she was it, it wasn't that far from mine, but I didn't feel like walking to mine alone. I wanted my protector. I opened up Thatch's conversation.

To Thatch:

Can you come get me?

Not even a minute passed by.

From Thatch:

Is everything okay? Where are you?

Eve hadn't said exactly what had stopped me from coming over, she just said that I was over at her place for a bit and couldn't text for a little while. I gave Thatch Eve's room number and waited, it took less than ten minutes for a knock at the door. I stayed on Eve's bed as she let Thatch into her place; I caught a few of the words that passed between the two in the hallway.

Pretty shaken, some guy tried touching her, book, brought her here.

Thatch kneeled in front of the bed, a concerned, furious expression on his face. I started pulling on my studs again, if he said one word I was going to lose it all over again, and I was so done with being weak today. I felt my lip start to quiver so I bit down on it harder.

"Lyra." Thatch's voice was soft. He watched me for a few seconds, anger fading away leaving nothing but concern and worry left. For the second time that day I found myself in someone's arms, searching for comfort. I started blubbering again, trying to explain what happened.

"He . . . He was there. And, and I couldn't get away from him. I tried but I couldn't . . . and-" My sentence was shut short by a sob. I was angry with myself, and I was angry that Phil had done this to me. My wounds were so fucking deep I couldn't heal them, even after three years I was still reduced to a pathetic wailing mess.

"Heeeeeey, you're with me now okay? I won't let him touch you. Common, Iz and I are making a Lyra sandwich tonight." Thatcher smiled sympathetically at me, I nodded and took his out stretched hand. I waved a shaky hand at Eve, I wasn't able to form the words thank you, I'd make it up to her later.

Thatcher did as he promised, once we reached his place he tucked be in between him and Iz. I used one of their shirts as a night gown. My eyes were closed before my head touched the pillow, I didn't even have time to worry about nightmares.

I woke up the next morning freaked out that I was late for class, but Thatch sat me back down in bed with breakfast and ordered me to eat. Apparently I wasn't going anywhere today. The three of us sat on their bed with snacks, coffee, and a laptop. Today was an official Netflix day. Three kid's movies with hidden adult humor later, Cass dropped by with more supplies for Netflix day. She crammed herself between Thatch and me, and practically hugged the life out of me. I waved her off telling her I was fine and everyone was over doing it.

I frown as my phone vibrated half way through the current movie, who the hell was interrupting The Croods?

From Eve:

Hey just checking in on you, you weren't in class today. I hope you're doing alright.

Of course she was the type to use proper grammar in texts. But when had her number gotten into my phone? I must have looked puzzled because Thatch leaned over Cass to look at me screen.

"Oh yeah, she told me to tell you she put her number in there last night." Gees thanks Thatch.

To Eve:

Im good sorry bout last night ill make it up to you

It only took a few seconds for her to reply.

From Eve:

I'm holding you to it :)

Oh. I felt a small twist in my stomach at the thought of seeing her again after the state I was in when I left her place. It wasn't until later that the guys walked Cass and I back to our dorm, I insisted it wasn't necessary but they stood their ground and walked us back anyways. I locked the door after they left. One more day of classes then I could have a weekend. I swallowed remembering the only class I had was physics with Eve.

I prayed I wouldn't do something weird when I saw her next. Nothing like breaking down in a strangers lap to make things awkward. Shit. Eve didn't bring it up; she didn't even ask if I was okay. She did make ridiculous cartoon drawings of our professor though; the big head little body kind. I spent most of class trying not to giggle, all thoughts of the coffee shop incident long gone.