Samifer, but will Sam lose it all for Lucifer?

Chapter 1: A touch

Sam woke up, he thought of everything that had happened, losing Cas and all, and having Lucifer swimming about in his head, which, even though he misses Cas, was his fault. But Sam didn't, couldn't, blame him. He blamed himself for being so stupid and not taking care of himself, it wasn't fair on Cas and isn't fair on Dean to be having to look after him. Even though after several times of Sam telling Dean he doesn't need help, Dean knows he does. After last night as well, when Dean taught him what felt like real pain, he rubbed his hand just thinking of it. He hadn't seen Lucifer since last night, which to Sam was a relief but also frightening as he feels as if he is just sitting in the corner twiddling his thumbs waiting for the next 'Luci-attack', as he called it, and to freak out again. A part of him just wanted him to be asleep forever, to not have to wake up to the cruel and sick reality that he lives in. But he is here, or he hopes in spite of everything that he is actually here, that this isn't just a trick that Lucifer has been 'directing', and that Sam is still down there, in the cage.

He sat up when he heard Dean coming into the room, he looked Sam up and down and started, "Hey Sammy, you alright?" Sam pushed his hair out of his face and replied,

"I'm fine, how long have you been up?" Curiosity spread across Sam's face, only to change the subject because he's had enough time thinking about Lucifer as it is.

"About four hours, I only got three hours of sleep last night," Sam was going to ask why but  he already knew the answer. He bowed his head down in humiliation, but continued,

"Any word about the Leviathans?" Sam pulled the quilt from over himself and got up, he was in a plain brown top and blue jeans, he stood up and walked to the end of the bed where he leant on the bedframe. Dean crossed his arms.

"No, Bobby's working on finding the buggers, I was doing some research to try and find out how you kill them but jack squat so far, I was going to go down the library, just wanted to tell you before I left," Dean looked at Sam's cut on his hand, but quickly snapped up again "You go have a shower, I'll be down stairs with some Bourbon." He opened the door but stopped, "Are you sure your okay? No Lucifer saddling on your shoulder?" Sam looked around, at the door or the floor, but not at Dean.

"Yeah, um, I haven't seem him yet so that's a start," He let out a long sigh but still felt as if he was holding his breathe, he had this lump in his throat that just wouldn't go away. Dean turned back around and said,

"If you say so," whilst closing the door behind him. Sam rubbed his eyes, what was happening? Really? And why him? He has only tried to help the world he lives in and yet he is being tortured. It may not be fair on Dean or Cas, but it definitely wasn't fair on Sam either. He got up and gathered some clothes to take into the shower, he put his clothes down and started stripping. He finished udressing and realized he still had his bandage on his hand, better take it off and clean the wound. He stepped into the shower and let the cool cold water run over his face. He didn't know how long he was there for just that it was a long time, long enough that his finger tips started wrinkling from the water. He felt a touch on his shoulder, only a shiver so he ignored it. Then it happened again, but more pressure was put on it this time, it felt as if someone was touching him. He ignored it again, thinking it was down to his paranoia. But when he was touched again it was harder, like someone was trying to dig into his shoulder. He rubbed his arm and it stopped happening for the rest of the time he was in the shower. Only when he was out and dressed and by his bed he felt tapping on his shoulder , and this time he swirled around quickly, only to see Lucifer, standing there smug.

"Hello Sammy, did you miss me?" Sam automatically started digging into his hand, pain and fear stung through his body. Lucifer moved forward and grabbed onto Sam's arm, almost consolingly.  "You know Sam, that trick isn't gonna work forever, some day it's gonna heal," The rest of what he said was cut off and Sam fell down onto the bed, holding his head in his hands. He took a deep breath in and stood back up again. One small visit from Lucifer and he lost it, he thought, he needs to not be scared. But how can't he be? He literally has the devil hitched onto his mind, nothing about that isn't frightening. His thoughts went back to when Lucifer touched his arm, it wasn't a hard grip it was gentle ad subtle, like he was comforting Sam. Sam tried to forget about it, he's been trying to forget many things. He walked to the door and back, pacing backwards and forwards trying to think of a way to inconspicuously hide him pressing down on his hand. He didn't want to talk about any of this, it's personal, he thought, and he doesn't want to talk about it whether Dean likes it or not. But just to make it worse he hates hiding things from his brother and it would only make him feel worse. But it's his problem, he is going to deal with it.

He finally got the courage to go downstairs and greet Bobby and Dean. Dean was searching swiftly through old books that he'd got from the library of mainly the old testament. Bobby was on his computer trying to find anything out of the ordinary that could link to the Leviathans. They were so embedded in their work that they had hardly noticed when Sam came down, until he asked them if the wanted a beer. Dean quickly without any words picked up his beer and gestured that he'd already got one. Bobby said no and continued work when he said as commonly as grass grows, 'Balls'. Both Dean and Sam looked at him questionably, and he started.

"Bloody Leviathans . I've found nothing. No weird behaviour or anything, a little too quiet." Sam poked his tongue on his cheek curiously, "I mean shouldn't they have at least eaten a few people by now? Unless they've turned into vegans," Dean smirked,

"Maybe we're looking in the wrong place. If you wanted to eat people and their death not raise any eyebrows, where would you go?" He'd found out the answer but let Sam answer it aloud,

"A hospital.".