STOLEN SMILE

CATERINA

"We are most alive when we're in love."

-John Updike

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IT SMELLED LIKE FRESH AIR and expectation. A warm breeze flowed through the cracked window and I realized I left it open all night. That wouldn't be good for Jenn's electricity bill, though I was sure she had enough money to power New York City for years.

I got up and closed the window, and then padded toward the bathroom. After I appeared halfway presentable, I headed downstairs. My feet froze at the base of the stairs, but unfortunately, this time it wasn't due to half-naked Jenn.

A quiet "No" escaped my lips.

"Yes," Jenn said.

My heartbeats ricocheted like pinballs in my chest.

I glanced from her in her black three-piece suit to the white dress lying over the back of the couch. A cool rush of unease drifted through my body, but there was something else intertwined. A warm kernel of pleasure, of relief, expanding like a balloon. I didn't realize that living with this woman unmarried had bothered me until now—and it wasn't because of what it would do to my reputation. As much as I loved the freedoms such a liberal world provided for others, my heart bled for the Cosa Nostra, for everything romantic, and for the structured walls of tradition. Also, the idea that she would grow bored and decide not to marry me had been a cold whistle of alarm in my blood.

I wanted to be married, to have a life partner of my own, but the sunny, white picket fence dream I'd always envisioned would be marred by the shadows of other women. I couldn't share. Not this woman. The idea made me feel sick to my stomach, cut my breaths in half, sent an ache radiating through my chest.

"Why did you kill Oscar Perez?" I blurted.

Jenn stood with her hands in her pockets as she leaned against the island. Her gaze was as calm and deep as the sea. "Because you were mine."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't think she would lie about the question, but I did believe she'd evade it. I suddenly knew that this throb in my heart would be worse than any physical pain Oscar could have inflicted upon me.

"Maybe you screwed fate." My voice was a whisper as I stared at the white summer dress on the couch.

I didn't look at her, but I didn't have to, to know that my words struck a nerve. The heat of her stare burned my cheek.

"There is no such thing as fate," she snapped. "And even if there were, the last thing anyone would ever do is pair you with Oscar Perez."

"The Fates would pair me with you? You're no saint."

"Do you want a saint, Caterina?"

No, I want you. But I don't want the heartache you'll bring along.

"Jenn, we don't know each other... I don't even know your middle name."

"Angelo. Now, go upstairs and get ready. We leave in an hour."

I didn't move. "I've already picked out my dress, Jenn... it's perfect." I sounded like a frivolous girl, but that's who I was. She should know what she was signing up for. I wondered how she'd gotten a marriage license without me, but realized it was probably the easiest of illegal things she'd done.

"I want my wedding," I said firmly.

"You sure you want two ceremonies with me? Looks like you can hardly stomach the first." Her tone seeped with irritation as she pulled out her phone to reply to a text.