How Girls and One Gay Guy Think

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How Girls And One Gay Guy Think 101 BOOK FOR DUMB ASS PEOPLE

Mindy- Would you rather be a porn star who just sucks dick or Kim Kardashian with herpes?

Riya- I'm just here waiting for Laura.

Laura- I'm sorry Brandon's girlfriend called him Jiggly puff. (Talking about How Boys Think. She took it upon herself to read it during the interview.)

Mindy- Someone answer dammit!

Laura- Okay, okay. Wait. That's a hard question.

Riya- Porn Star, duh. And you get paid for sucking dick on camera. It's better than having herpes.

Kyle-Exactly. Porn star, I get money and sex. No thought about it. (I'm going to act like he did not just say that)

Laura- I mean with Kim, you get to be rich. So no one would really care but as a porn star you get judged more . . . Porn star. People can go suck mad dick! Fuck you society!

Priya- If I was Kim with herpes, do I have oral herpes or like it's down there? (Priya and her logical ass self)

Riya- Kim has had a few too many dicks up her hoo-hah.

Laura- Also Riya posting nudes on vine. Follow her. (This hoe. But feel free to follow me on vine)

Riya- Mindy follows me. She's my proof that my videos are innocent. (Exactly)

Laura- 44 followers. You. Are. Sucking. Dick.

Riya- What the fuck?

Mindy- Okay, next question. What's the worst pick up line someone ever used on you?

Kyle- Never was hit on. Forever alone. (Ya can't help but love him)

Riya- The one with water. (You know, the one where the guy is like "if you like water than u already like 80% of me or some bs)

Laura- Um, um . . . Let me see.

Riya- Hilarious, but annoying. (They Still have no idea what I'm talking about.)

Laura- They barked at me. (Begins to make barking noise.)

Priya- Oh, once this random guy told me, "You turn my software into hardware." That was stupid. There were some really sexual ones, I would prefer to forget. (Haha hardware)

Riya- Or maybe just the random cat calls or whistles. Or like, "Hey, Mami." Like bitch I am not Spanish. Get your shit straight. (it gets annoying ya know? like a girl can't even wear sweatpants around here)

Laura- Then they start to growl.

Mindy- That's . . . that's just some weird shit.

Laura- Shut the fuck up, dick sucker. Not you, Mindy. (I have no clue who she's talking to)

Somehow gets sidetracked and starts taking about a bird (papa chicken aka priya's first bird. BTW she's a crazy bird lady) that returned home. Then end up getting me sidetracked and Laura and Mindy started talking about Brandon, in How Boys Think. Also about Harry Potter and Penis of Fire.

Mindy- Third question, which's the biggest hoe of the group.

Riya- Priya.

Kyle- Depends on what you mean by hoe? Probably me.

Priya- Riya is the hoe.

Riya- Really, bitch?

Laura- Riya, definitely. Also talking about that I wonder what's our whore factors are?

Riya- It's Priya. She has like 20 boyfriends. She's a hoe.

Kyle- How is it unacceptable?

Laura- Riya leaks her nudes on vine, Follow. (Lies)

Riya- I am not marrying anytime soon. I'm got to have a hella lot of fun. (#commitment-issues)

Laura- See what I mean.

Kyle- Oh, okay.

Laura- Hoe. Slut.

Mindy- Um . . . Okay. Enough about vine and other shit. What's your ideal guy?

Kyle- A smart compatible hot guy. He has have an amazing personality and be funny. But mostly, hot.

Laura- Wow, Kyle. Picky much. Nice to know. I'll find you a guy.

Kyle- I'm not picky, I'm flexible but she said ideal.

Laura- I agree with the personality. He has to be nice as in kind and the facts I wouldn't meet him by him cat calling me or following me home. He has to be funny. I don't mind, but I like smart people. Cute factor as in he doesn't have to have abs or be muscular or even strong. Tallness, I don't mind as much.

Riya- Funny, cute, a bit nerdy in a hot way, little perverted, sweet, beautiful eyes that I can get lost in. Tall, muscular but not too much, abs are a must have and he must be big in the nether region.

Kyle- Oh my god, can I change my answer. I wat exactly what Riya described.

Mindy- To hell if I care, go ahead.

Riya- Yes, Kyle. You know you want a sexy guy with glasses who would be reading early in the morning shirtless.

Kyle- Yes, girl!

Laura- Perverted? Really, Riya? Really, Kyle (yes Laura, really)

Riya- Or in the middle of the night. Either time is great time for the dirty.

Mindy- No! Stop messing with Kyle' precious mind! This is madness!

Laura- Riya, I'm going to punch you in the face.

Riya- Why?

Laura- He doesn't want mine anymore because of you, asshole.

Riya- Not my fault, I have good taste in men.

Laura- Also, Riya drinks alcohol when her mother isn't there.

Mindy- I knew it!

Riya- What the fuck? There's no alcohol in the house. That was cranberry juice and before that it was ginger ale.

Mindy- Just like how in seventh grade. Everyone said she used cocaine instead of sugar for cereal.

Riya- Who puts sugar in their cereal? You also thought I took sugar pills.

Laura- Oh, take your damn pills Riya. Before you die.

Mindy- You do. Next question, bitches! Pet peeve?

Riya- Fake people, loud noise, Priya's laugh, (seriously she sounds like she's hyper ventilating like the Dean came up to her once and asked if she was okay) hyper children, chewing with mouth open.

Kyle- Saying something obviously stupid like, "People can go to the sun, if they go at night." Diets, Racism, Fat Free, homophobia, lying for self-gain.

Laura- Racism, prejudice, homophobia, transphobia, and more phobias and bad stuff the politicians do. Also holocaust jokes are not okay. What the fuck? Now let me continue.

Laura went on for about five minutes on a full blown rant. I guess that wasn't the best question to ask . . . After Laura's rant Mindy and I got into an argument where I stated, "Let me go get a cat to whack you with." And she replied, "Fuck you and that cat!"

Mindy- Okay, any questions you want the readers to answer?

Laura- How old do you think we are?

Kyle- Something about fashion of gross I don't know.

Mindy- You need a real question, dipshit.

Kyle- What's the grossest thing you have ever eaten?

Riya- What questions do you want us to answer?

Mindy- Alright, any final comments on this interview?

Laura- Riya sucks balls.

Kyle- It was very verbally violent. They couldn't stop fighting if they were paid. (Seriously what is he talking about?)

Laura- Contact her. Also, Priya is a ghost.