I'll Try My Best (Phan) [Completed]

Part 10: My Calendar

(Dan POV)

I'm so excited right now because it's almost Christmas. Today it's December 23rd. I can't wait to spend my first Christmas with Phil. I know that sounds weird and maybe even creepy but I don't care. By there's bad news. Doesn't it always seem like there's something terrible every time something goes good? Well yeah. That's what I'm thinking right now. Ok this is why there's bad news.

A few days ago I was looking for a notebook and I stumbled across something. It was my calendar that I had tore off the wall and threw. It was a calendar that had two years in it instead of one like every other calendar. Well I picked it up happened to flip open to January.

Immediately I saw the black 'x' that I had marked with a sharpie. It was on January 1st. It brought back the memories of why I marked that day. I then saw that the first was only 9 days away. I kind of panicked. I didn't want to put Phil through that. It would upset him and I don't want him to do anything to horrible.

I set the calendar back down. I went over to my bed and laid down. Looking up at the ceiling, I thought of how I would spend my last days. I was wondering how I would tell Phil. I can't just leave him. I need to let him know. But not now. He would try to get me to not do it and I need to. I want to. I don't want to leave Phil but I need to leave this life. I need to be where I belong. Dead.

I didn't really believe in religion. I mean there could be a heaven and hell but if anything, I was probably going to hell. But hopefully it'll be better then here.

(Phil POV)

Lately Dan has been a little distant. He hasn't texted or came over lately and I'm beginning to worry. Everything at school was going good. But I have still seen cuts along his arm. But not as bad as before. "Buzz!" My phone interrupted my thoughts and I quickly grabbed it hoping it was Dan.

*Hello... Wanna come over? I have pizza!*

•I would put italics but my iPod won't let me ):•

*Yeah, I'll be there in a min*

I hurried up and got dressed in normal clothes and headed down stairs to tell my mum where I was going. I started walking to Dan's house. I figured that I could ask him if anything was wrong and see if I could help.

I stood at the door and knocked. I heard some talking or shouting inside. Then Dan opened the door. "Hey Phil." He greeted me as I walked up stairs with him. When he opened the door the smell of pizza surrounded me. "Smells good." I told him.

"I know. I cooked it myself." He told me but I knew he was kidding. "Yeah, sure you did." I grabbed a piece from the box and sat on his bed. "So what's been going on? Have you done anything this week?" I started of because I didn't want to just jump right to the question I wanted to ask him.

"No I've just been hanging out here." He said whilst eating his pizza. I just nodded. He finished his pizza before me and looked up at me almost tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked very concerned. "What? N-nothing." He said. But I could tell he was lying. "No really Dan. What's been going on? Tell me so I can help." I rubbed his back soothingly.

"Ok. The other day I stumbled upon something. It was my calendar." I was really confused. Why would someone be upset over a calendar. Whatever. "I totally forgot about it because I've been so happy lately but I know I need to do it." I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

"Um. Dan I'm really sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about." He started to cry a little bit. "Ugh! You don't get it! I-I am going to-... You know what never mind. It doesn't matter." I was still super confused. "Alright well stay strong." I told him kindly. "I'll try my best." He told me and I decided I would head home.

Once I was home it was nearly 10 at night. I decided I would go to bed. But I couldn't. I was still wondering what Dan was taking about. 'I know I need to do it.' His words tossed my mind over and over. What did he need to do? Why didn't he tell me? 'I am going to-' But that's all he said. What is he going to do?

I woke up the next morning and the thoughts of what Dan said came back. I realised something. Dan said he forgot about it because he's been happy lately. I then remembered him talking about his calendar. Then a few days ago we were talking about New Years and he said it not a new beginning, that its the end of an old life. He said he didn't have any New Years resolutions. He didn't have plans for next year. I finally got the hint.
'The end of an old life.'
'The end of an old life.'

The same line rang through my head. 'The end of an old life.' I got it. Dan was going to kill himself.

•Yay! The story is almost over! Almost. I think part 12 will be the end. Do you think Dan will actually kill himself or do you think he will stay because of Phil? Will Phil catch him in time? Or will he be too late? Thank you so much for sticking with me. I still don't know what I'm going to write about in my next story. Well I love any little llamas that are still reading. Stay strange. Never be normal.•
~Meowgravy