Stay || Genshin Impact Modern AU

Chapter 15 .•°•. despair - leo. °•.•°

Woah my updates are so consistent and fast right <3
ALSO I NOTICED A REALLY DUMB MISTAKE I MADE LAST CHAPTER OH MY GOD 😭😭
anyways enjoy

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~Scara's POV~

Waking up is always so easy. The thing that is difficult is doing anything after that.

I slowly start to take in my surroundings.

It smells like wood and cotton. There's something sweet as well, like plums. It smells like Heizou.

I feel warm, but not too warm, like on a late summer evening. I really do not want to move.

A ray of sun is shining directly in my eye. I surpress a groan as I try to shift my face out of the light.

Only then my head clicks, and I manage to remember just what exactly happened.

Suddenly, I'm wide awake. I manage to prevent myself from shooting up, but a muttered "fuck" still slips out.

Slowly, I free myself from Heizou's arm around my waist and scoot closer to the edge of the bed.

There, I stand up and swiftly disappear out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible.

I fill myself a glass of water and down it in one go, before hurrying to the bathroom because i feel the nausea and headache rising up.

Hands on the sink for halt, I look at my face.

Damn, I look absolutely and utterly horrible.

My head feels as if it will explode if I move and the nausea is simply gutwrenching.

This should've never happened.
Why did I do this?
How can I look them in the eyes again?
What will happen now?
How do I tell them?
It was a fucking mistake.

I lean my head against the mirror.

It should've never come this far.

The coolness is soothing my headache a bit, but not quite enough to soothe the pain in my brain completely.

Closing my eyes for a second, I try to do as Nahida has taught me.

Breath in...
Hold it...
Breath out...

I repeat it some times until I calmed down. I think first... I need to get out of here.

So, after a quick visit to my room to grab a coat, I step outside into the hallway, down the stairs and into the cool air.

Then, I just... pause.

The cool, almost cold air is stopping my thoughts and calming me down. It is as if my brain has been frozen. No thoughts, just... breathing.

I slowly lean against a wall and simply take the time to breathe. I feel how my heartrate slow down and my frown eases.

Only then, I allow me to start to completely comprehend what I've done.

Fuck... this is ugly.

Last night, Heizou told me about their past, we went drinking, got drunk, and hooked up. Sounds like something from Venti's bookshelf. I scoff.

Why did I do that?

I can't blame it on the alcohol. I know that I don't lose control over myself to this extent when I'm drunk. And I didn't even drink that much.

It was something different, but since I can't identify what exactly it is, it's completely my fault.

How stupid can I be?
I know, I can't let anyone this near.
Why did I let them tell me their troubles?
Why did I feel the need to check up on them in the first place?
I don't know what I feel. How can I even think of trying to help somebody else?
Apparently, I'm exactly as incompetent as my dear mothers told me so many times.