Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 15

It's been a week since I've seen Cameron. I want to hate him. Hate him so much, but I can't I still love him.
Only thing that keeps running through my mind is why. Why would he do that why would he kiss her?
Flashback
It's been 3 weeks I'm doing pretty good. I haven't heard anything about my dad but I heard that Charla is in the hospital turns out she has Leukemia. Cameron didn't have practice today so he left early. We aren't really talking at this moment we had a big fight about Kellie. He thinks she's this little Angel but she's a Queen bitch I tried telling him that she loves him but he keeps pushing that thought away. But what upset me the most is when he said that I should just leave him alone and that I should stop being a jealous girlfriend. After practice I rushed to Cameron's home. I realized that Kylie's car was there as well. I got out of the car and went inside I heard muffled noises coming from the kitchen . I slowly approached the entrance of the kitchen. What I saw tore my already broken, fragile and delicate heart. Cameron and Kellie were kissing. What's worse is that he was actually kissing her back she was sitting on the island and he was between her legs. I couldn't stop the lone tear that fell down my face. I took in a deep breath and Cameron broke away and looked at me. He had guilt, regret and sadness all over his face.
"Raine" he said while approaching me. I shook my head and moved away. I run away but he grabbed me.
"Raine just listen to me" he said my head was spinning my heart felt numb I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was having a panic attack. I struggled out of his grip.
"No leave me the hell alone I hate you" I said and punched his cheat it didn't have much effect in him but I punched and punched until my hands hurt and he just stood there letting me hurt him. I wanted him to stop me . I wanted him to make me listen but he didn't.
"I hate you" I said as more tears fell. I looked up at him and saw that he was crying as well.
I wanted to hug him to kiss him to tell him not to cry, but he hurt me. I just shook my head and ran out of the house. I drove and drove fast. I didn't know where I was going until I saw the graves.
I got out of the car and ran to my mom's grave.
"Why!?" Was the only thing I asked and punched the tombstone. My hand started to bleed but I didn't care. I felt two warm hands wrap around me.
"Sweety" the calming soothing voice of my mother said. I turned around and hugged her I didn't care if this was some dream or she's a ghost I hugged her and cried in her arms like when I was younger. After what seemed like eternity.
"Can I please come live with you?" I asked.
"Yes sweety you can" she said we got up and she walked over to my car .
"Follow behind me ok" she said I nodded my head and she kissed my forehead and I went into the car. I followed and 2 hours later we arrived to this 2 story house it was simple and had a peaceful aura. She carried me to a room and I slept I didn't want to leave the room I didn't even eat. I just cried and slept and listened to happy ending by Avril Lavigne I just felt trapped lost and incomplete. I dont know why I felt like it would last I'm not Cinderella and my life isn't a fairytale I have the scars to prove it I don't know why I expected a happy ending, a happy ever after.
End of flashback.
I was sitting in my car outside of Cameron's house. No one was home. I bought a bouquet of forget me not and I was there trying to write a letter.
Dear Cam
Ummm. I don't really know what I'm doing right now but here goes. Thanks for being there when I needed you. I get it I was probably too much for you to handle. I just want you to know that I'm safe and I still love you even though I feel like slapping the crap out of you I still love you. Tell your mom I'm fine and she should stop worrying and that I'll talk to her soon. Tell her to please tell my Agent to call me. Don't try and find me Cameron and when you see me at school pretend like you don't know me. Give Bethany a kiss for me and tell her I love her and I'll see her soon. I love you Cameron and please don't forget me. I know I wont forget you.
~love Ray.
After I was finish writing I walked up to the door and opened it with the key under the doormat and went up to his room.
I picked every flower off it's stem and placed them in a heart and then I left the letter beside it. I looked at the photo of both of us that we took some weeks ago we were at the mall and he grabbed me and kissed me and took the picture. He framed it . I took it up and kissed him. Then left. It hurts to let go but letting go is the best thing I can do right know. I drove home and went upstairs no one was home and I was glad I walked up to my room and slid down my door and cried my eyes out all the times Cameron and I had kept flashing threw my mind. Our first kiss our first date. All the time he comforted me all of them just kept rushing back. There was nothing but a big gap where my heart used to be. It felt like everytime I breathe my lungs would collapsed. I actually had something worth being happy about when I had him but all of that was left with him when I walked out that door.