f.m. ~camren

chapter 14

On Monday Lauren is updating the inventory list at the bookstore based on their newest shipment when she hears heels clicking on the floor to indicate someone is approaching. When the sound ceases Lauren looks up from what she is working on and sees Ally standing on the other side of the counter.

"May I help you find something?" Lauren asks politely, attempting to keep the interaction professional.

"I'm looking for closure," Ally summarizes.

"Can't say I'm familiar with that title. Do you know the genre?" Lauren presses for more information as she shifts some books from one stack to another, pretending to keep working.

"Please meet with me for a few minutes?" Ally insists, not willing to play along.

"I already took my last break," Lauren lies easily.

"Just this once, Lauren. I won't bother you again," Ally promises.

"Fine, let's grab a coffee at the cafe then. Your treat?"

Ally agrees to Lauren's terms and they walk together toward the cafe's entrance. Lauren finds them a table while Ally orders their drinks. The service is prompt because there are no other patrons at the moment, so it takes less than five minutes for them to be seated together and ready to talk again.

"Why now?" Lauren opens with the first question that pops into her head. "For months I didn't see or hear from you, and now I've ran into you twice in one week. What's changed?"

"Saturday was a coincidence. I think it's also a sign. We've both moved on now, so it seems like the right time to tie up any loose ends between us," Ally explains.

"I didn't want to move on, Ally," Lauren reminds her, "you left me no other choice."

"I could have handled it better. I know. I didn't mean for you to find out the way you did."

"What does it matter how I found out? You think admitting it to my face would have changed the outcome? I still would have left," Lauren asserts.

Ally stares down into her open coffee cup while her fingers dance along the rim.

"I cared about you, Lauren, but where we left off didn't show it. I should have been upfront with you about my feelings the moment I became overwhelmed. My parents were pressuring me to settle down. They thought since we already lived together that I should propose and plan to start a family. The more I pictured us in that scenario, the less confident I felt about our future. Instead of having an honest discussion with you about the doubts I had, which is what you deserved, I distanced myself."

"You took for granted how much I trusted you. I hope I'm never that naive again."

"It's true that I didn't deserve your trust, but that doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there who will. I'm glad you're seeing someone again. I didn't want to re-open old wounds, and that was my primary motive for waiting so long to contact you like this. Approaching you seemed easier knowing that you weren't still hung up on us," Ally reasons.

Lauren scoffs as she pushes her near-empty coffee cup into the middle of the table.

"I never thought you were selfish before I found out you cheated on me, and now the evidence keeps stacking up. How can you pretend to regret the effects your actions had on my feelings then turn around and admit avoiding me because you didn't want to handle my reaction to those feelings?"

Ally forces herself to look up and make eye contact with Lauren again.

"I didn't want to give you any false hope about fixing our relationship and making a fresh start. I thought I was doing you a favor by not contacting you after you moved out," Ally defends.