Twenty Five Reasons Not to Go to Law School

Reason Eighteen

Reason Eighteen not to go to law school: being prosecuted is not fun.

If I were to select a sound that I could never hear again, it would undoubtedly be Louis Stepp's voice saying "Cassandra."

Actually, better yet, Louis Stepp's voice saying "Cassie."

But that's what I heard as I was trying to leave my office, already now half an hour late, and counting.

Trying so hard to be cordial when it was oh so difficult, I stood in the doorway with a "Yes?"

"Come here," he said, motioning me in as he shut the door behind me. "You and I don't get to hang out enough."

"Hang out?" I reiterated, the colloquialism a little too much for the office.

He smiled. "Do they not say that anymore?"

I shook my head. "Not in the law firm."

"Cass," he said, declaring my words irrelevant. "Don't think of me as your boss."

"Then, what exactly should I think of you as?" No sooner had I asked the rhetorical question than I realized that he had an answer, one that I didn't want him to vocalize. "Don't answer that," I immediately said.

"I know what game you're playing, Cassandra," he said, feigning some sort of omniscience. "And I have to say, it's working."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You don't think I know that you play hard to get with me?"

I'm pretty sure my expression said it all: shocked, disgusted, and even a little bit amused at his far-off narcissism. "I don't play anything with you," I said clearly.

"But you want to," he said. "I know you do."

"You want to play, Louis? Let's play, 'go home and Cassandra will be nice and forget this entire exchange ever happened.'"

He shook his head. "I don't think I like that game."

"I love it," I said, going for the door. "Goodbye."

When I put my hand on the doorknob, he put his on top of mine, knowing both that it would cause me to recoil and that I wouldn't be physically able to open it, even if I hadn't.

"Why go for the door, Cassandra?" he asked me.

"That's generally what one uses to exit a room."

"You think you're so clever."

"I think I'm so late."

"Late for?"

"To go home and meet my girlfriend," I said firmly. "Louis, you're barking up the wrong tree."

"You mean--"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm in a relationship, Louis. And I love her. So stop wasting your time."

He laughed. "That's so cute."

"What?"

"You think you're a lesbian."

"I think?"

"Come on, Cassandra. Look at you."

"What about me?" 

"Where's the short hair, and the rainbow pins on your blazer?"

"You are so ignorant," I had no problem saying as I went for the door a second time.

"Don't be like that, Cass," he said. "You know you're hot. Why limit yourself?"

"Why have sex with guys that I'm not attracted to?" I challenged.