SONG FICS!!

Left Behind (Ferris Bueller)

*You fold his hands and smooth his tie, you gently lift his chin. Were you really so blind and unkind to him?*

Ferris stared at the lifeless course lying there in that damn coffin. It wasn't him. It wasn't Cameron. Cameron didn't look like that. He never had. In all the years they'd been friends - and sometimes even more than that- Cameron Frye had Never....EVER... Looked like that. So... Well... Dead.

*Can't help the itch to touch, to kiss, to hold him once again. Now to close his eyes, never open them.*

He should've known. All those nights they'd lay there, all close and just talking. He talked about doing it all the time but Ferris never thought he would. He never thought in a million years that he'd really do it. But he did. And He left him there. He left Ferris there in a field of Rage and Sadness and confusion. He promised. The one time Ferris asked, Cameron Promised he wouldn't leave. He promised he'd always be there to kiss him when he woke up and couldn't seem to remeber the event of the night before for a few minute... To take care of him when he was sick and Visa Versa. But that couldn't happen. Not anymore.

*A shadow passed, A shadow passed yearning, yearning for the fool it called a home. All things he never did are left behind. All the things his mama wished he'd bare in mind. And all his dad had wished he'd know.*

Watching his parents made Ferris feel sick. Standing there and crying like they weren't to blame. Crying like they actually gave a damn. They made that happen. Maybe if his father wasn't a narcissistic ass who found joy in torturing the kid he was supposed to pass a baseball with in the front yard and talk to about fixing cars and sports... Maybe if his mother didn't watch like it was completely normal and fine and like it wasn't hurt son getting the beating she so clearly deserved... Maybe.. Just maybe... They wouldn't be there right then. Cameron and Ferris would be still fast asleep, cuddled close in Bed.

*The talks you never had, The Saturdays you never spent. All the grown up places you never went.*

It was Saturday morning. They always spent Saturday mornings together watching TV and sleeping and cuddling and talking. Neither of them had to work on Saturday mornings. They'd been doing this since two weeks before graduation. And now it there were only two weeks left of Summer before Ferris would be booted off to College in New York... And He was supposed to be leaving With Cam...

*And all of the crying you'd never understand... You'd just let him cry. Make a man out of him.*

Goddammit! Why hadn't he seen this coming?! Why hadn't he stopped it?! He could've!! He could've called him one minute sooner. He could have had him stay the night before so he would be there that day to help him through it and tell him it'd be okay and that he loved him. That he loved him as he had never love another. He could still be alive... It wasn't his parents' fault... No... It was Ferris'.

*All things he ever wished are left behind. All the things his mama did to make him mind and how his dad had hoped he'd grow*

Feeling the burning tinge of Guilt in his Stomach, Ferris turned away from the sight he couldn't bare to see and began walk toward the door. Walking... Then speed walking... The jogging.. Then running. Running as fast as he could as tears threatened to pour over his face... Ignoring the sound of His name being called by voice that he didn't recognize - even though it was his family.

*All things he ever lived are left behind. All the fears that ever flickered through his mind. All the sadness that he'd come to own.*

Tears blurred his vision as he sprinted down the sidewalk, running faster than he knew he was physically able. He wasn't sure what he was running from... Maybe he thought if he ran away from what had happened, it would all be okay... Hell maybe he was trying to run from his guilty. He ran and ran and ran for what felt like hours... And no matter how tight his lungs felt or how much his head spun, he kept running.

*A shadow past, a shadow past Yearning, yearning For the fool it called a home.And it whistles through the ghosts still left behind. It whistles through the ghosts still left behind.*

Ferris ran until he reached a dock that lead to a small pound like body of water. Feeling sick, he collapsed on the wooden dock, his body wracked with sobs as he tried to catch his breath. Lying on the hard dock, he closed his eyes tight and just cried. Why the hell did this have to happen? Why? He didn't understand. What kind of sick twisted bastard would make something like that happen? That was his Cameron! His life! His fiance! His! Not anyone else's! His! He couldn't loose him! Not now not today! Suddenly he felt someone pulling him close. Jeanie. It was Jeanie. Jeanie had found him. She pulled her brother close and kissed his forehead as he snuggled close to her and just cried. It wasn't fair. Cameron was gone. And Ferris was alone.

*It whistles through the ghosts still left behind.*